August 24, 2011
Today we are 24
So here we are. I haven't really been looking forward to you. I mean, I don't like my birthday anyways, but you know I have ridiculous panics about suddenly getting old and for some reason you scare me more than 25 does. Because I can now officially say I was 3 21 years ago and my grandmother can no longer hold that grudge against me for running away to the beach back then, and frankly that freaks me out. But here we are, and there's no going back. Not that I want to go back, because even though I've been a bit ominous about you, I have a feeling that you are going to turn out to be pretty fantastic. 23 was an okay year. It wasn't horrible, but there were some tough times that I don't fancy repeating. I did a lot of growing up during 23. I learned some new things, met some new people, and generally enjoyed life, but it was a year of being stuck. You are not going to be. You've got some big changes ahead, new challenges, new experiences, new people, new places. I guess you are going to be the year of new. And I like that. I like new. But at the same time you've got me a bit scared. You are a blank canvas just waiting for me to Jackson Pollack it up. And I find myself feeling very bittersweet about just about everything. scared to get attached to anything (or one) here because I have no idea what to expect of the coming year, not a clue about what you have to offer me. Fortune, Fame, Love? I just don't know. (But feel free to send any of those my way. Well maybe not the fame...) Last year I did. I knew I'd be spending another year here dripping with sweat from a broken A/C and scorching temperatures. But I don't know where I'll be this time next year. On a visit home? Deep in the woods? Traipsing through Europe? Backpacking in the Highlands (this works for me too FYI)? For the first time ever I feel as if my life isn't scripted. I am free to write it out, make it up as I go, and embellish it a little. I don't know where I'll be, or what I'll be doing. And while that is weird and scary, it also makes me smile. I'm finally getting what I want and I am so very grateful. I am a very blessed person and I've lived a pretty fantastic life these past 24 years. So lets make the next 24 the best okay? Let's also survive another 24 years at least. Let's enjoy every moment, all the flowers, and kisses, and tears, and hugs, and laughter, and smiles, and sunny days, and rainy days. Let's just live and be happy because if there is anything I have learned after all these years it's that I can handle just about anything that doesn't involve blood and brussle sprouts. And actually when I think about the fact that 24 years from now I will only be 48, I don't feel quite so old. (I am a freak for being less freaked out by 48 than 24)
Today I will take a jaunt to Disneyland, eat some Shnitzle, and dance the night away. Not a bad way to ring in a new year.