August 10, 2008

When In Rome

This weeks TDI takes place in the incredible city of Rome. I'm a huge history nerd. For ever Christmas since 6th grade I have received history books, mostly about the Vikings (because they were cool, and I'm a Viking decedent. Don't believe me? notice my under eye bags, no upper lip, meaty thighs, broad shoulders, grey eyes and pale skin.) and about the Romans. Did you know: the ancient Romans invented both the bikini and the flip flop? Oh yeah they also invented this thing called the arch. One of my life goals is to go to Rome, have a glorious love affair with a man on a Vespa, get involved in a jewel heist where I am mistaken for some very important person, then find out that my Vespa man is actually a secret spy, who also thought I was this VIP, but still fell in love with me, and then have him attempt to rescue me from the evil clutches of Vesppuccio(the jewel heister pronounced Ves-poo-chee-o. (cc = English ch and ch= English ck)), but I being the clever female I am use my feminine wiles to escape, and help bring down a huge mob group, then realize that I don't really love Vespa man (who is of course an Antonio Banderras look alike), because my heart actually belongs to the poet I met in Glasgow. Another life goal is to Sing at La Scala, though, so I'm good with either.

Three Days in Glorious Rome:

It has to be a red Vespa by the way. Otherwise he's just not worth my time. He'll be posing as a flower delivery man and when notices that though I am an American i don't look lost at all. He'll be so sparked by my unabashed confidence that he'll have to speak to me. Then he'll volunteer to show me around the city: all the none tourist spots that take your breath away. We'll have dinner at a little corner cafe, and he'll tell me he happens to have to tickets to see Tosca at La Scala for the next evening and would I like to join him. I'll coolly accept never letting on that I absolutely love Tosca and that someday it will be me up on that stage singing. We depart with a simple kiss on the cheek.

The next day I'll dig into my life's savings to buy this Oscar De La Renta dress to wear to the Opera. Of course this is a key plot development (I love plots that involve shopping), because Vespa man will think that I have the cash to buy this kind of thing, thus aiding my mistaken identity. The Opera will be incredible and afterwards we will take the limo to his favourite spot: a desolate tower that looks over the city. He'll pour out a story of love and loss and I'll tell him of Gavin, the Scottish Poet I had to leave, and how now he'll never speak to me again. Vespa man will comfort me and I'll look into his deep blue eyes, which remind me so much of Gavin's and we'll have a passionate kiss. Then we'll go back to the little apartment I'm staying in. We'll promise to meet the next day. When I enter my room, Vesspuccio's men will be waiting and will kidnap me and thus the story will go off into a loop of twists and turns, until I escape, by wearing poisoned lipstick.

After Vesspuccio has been busted and a few good men lost, Vespa man will proclaim his love for me and I have reject him, because being so close to death so many times all i could think about was my Scottish poet. He'll say his goodbye and wish me all the love and happiness in the world here and plant a lovely kiss on my cheek. Then I'll have to throw the inscribed necklace that he gave me in the fountain: a symbol of the love that could never be.

Among other things I wanted to be a writer when I was little, so this is my outlet.
Happy Sunday every one. I'm off to the beach again.

Ciao Darlings,
Peace, love, and save the bees

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