December 12, 2008

Really? A Looney Bin? Wow....

So last night I went to a concert.

It was good. It was a choir concert. I was supposed to be in this choir, but couldn't because of all the other classes I was taking. But I promised to go to said concert when I had to drop the class. So I went to the concert. The concert was lovely. Everyone did great. There were some soprano issues, but I lived through them, and overall was very impressed and proud of the friends of mine who were in the group. I said "hi" and "great job", and did the whole congrats thing. Then I started to leave. Up walk former friend X and former friend Z. Now you should note that they were not yet former friends at this point, though I have not heard from them since I had to drop the class I was in with them.
X gives me a hug. "Hey! Ash! Wow! You look good, How are you?" I smiled feeling just slightly confused by Friend X's manner.
A:"um, I'm good. Thanks. How are you guys?" I give Z a hug. Z smiles at me very concerned.
Z:"Well we're all fine, but how are you?" I again feel confused.
A:"I'm good. Like I said. So what's new?"
X: "nothing much. So how long have you been back?"
Z: "yeah I mean last we knew you didn't know when they'd let you go."
By this time I was just staring at them.
"what are you talking about?"
Z: "well y'know... The whole thing after your accident. I don't blame you. I'd have been pretty F***ed up too."
X: "so how long have you been out?"
A: "out of what?"
X: "the hospital?"
A: "I never went to the hospital. I mean I didn't need to go. I just had some gnarly bruises and a few small cuts. no biggy."
Z: "no we know that. The other hospital?" I just stared with my mouth hanging open rather unattractively.
A:"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about."
X:"The hospital they sent you too. Y'know after your breakdown."
Okay now I know that Mr. Stupid-Ass-Douche-Bag teacher told people that I had a breakdown and had to quit the class because of it. I was well aware of this. But come to find out after he announced this it became a rumor and travelled from person to person and ended up being that I had to be institutionalized because I went nutso! No joke people. This is my life. So I ended up having to set the record straight and telling them that no I have not been institutionalized, nor do I plan on it in the near future. I have also decided that I need new friends. Because if I had heard that I had been institutionalized I would have called to find out what was going on with them, and what happened and IF IT WAS EVEN TRUE! So I left and started my drive home, feeling angry and mad, and wanting to go punch something, when I had a thought. None of this would have happened if Mr. Stupid-Ass-Douche-Bag teacher had just told people the truth, which was that I got behind in my classes and had decided that my life path just didn't include ugly matching dresses, so I decided to leave. So then, because I was too angry to go straight home, I went to Target to go buy more music to satisfy my angry pain. And when I was in Target I suddenly realized why he told people these things that led to my rumored psycoticness. He was mad that I left. Mad because he knew I was good, and possibly better than everyone else. No I'm not being cocky or arrogant. There is a fine line between confidence in your abilities and divaness, I am so not a diva. I am however incredibly, and a tad ridiculously talented. And he wanted me to be his protege. Well guess what? Eat my crap. Because I do not belong to you. I am me, and I am sure as hell going to do whatever the hell I want to do. you have NO say in my life or what I choose to do, so go deal with it. And you're jealous because unlike you, I have what it takes to make it as something, something big, someone huge. And you can just watch as I go make my life something great, while you sit in your class and wish you could be me. And that is why I am done with school. I have to be at RCC one more day and then no more. And I will be in LA and I will be amazing, and you will not, so there.

Okay so justified anger aside I have one question. How does this crap happen to me? Like for real? What did I do to the universe to make this kind of crap follow me like a magnet? I mean I do find it all slightly amusing. Who else on this planet get a rumor started about her that she's in the looney bin? Oh that would be no one but yours truly. Man I can't wait to see what kind of crap people come up with when I'm a celebrity.....


  1. well....ya know......your family.....yea....kinda....looney does come to mind.....just saying....


  2. he's done in june....applying to colleges in the midwest...not involved in any of the music or theatre classes anymore....just transfer requirements.