September 3, 2008

My Emotional cup overflowed-eth: all before noon.

Y'know those days when you have so much going on in your head, you just don't know how to sort it out, or what it is you are really feeling? When you just want to cry to feel better, or at least lighter, but you can't because you don't really know what to cry about? When the world is just zooming by you and you are just standing there watching the blur of everyone else's life wondering why you're just standing there? And then you hear the song that reminds you of him and you just want to play it over and over and cry. But then Coldplay come on and you feel intoxicated by the sound of the strings playing and it reminds you of something else? And you wonder why you do stupid and silly things? And you realize that you are far more capable than you think, and far more intelligent that you give yourself credit? And you feel so incredibly bored with it all? And then you think about the place you want to go back to the most? And you just want it to be quiet? And you really regret that you had a candy bar in the afternoon? And you wish somethings didn't change, or that they changed at the same rate? And then you think you might cry and one tear rolls, but then nothing? And so you put on the most gloomy music you can think of and wish it would rain and clear your mind? And then you bank is a punk ass? And you feel like nothing you do is ever going to be good enough, and you just wait to hear that one person say..... so many things? And you can feel tension in the air, but you don't know who it is pulling the other end or if you really are too keen on going their way? But then you wonder if their way is all that bad, but you keep on fighting? and just when you're about to finally lose it completely you hear this little voice say..... so many things you need to hear, and it tells you it's all going to be okay. That everything will work out as long as you work hard. And that you are going to do all the things you want to if you put your mind to them, and that no matter what it will always love you, and you'll heal, and money will work itself out so don't stress, and school is just a hoop we have to jump through, and you'll be fine, and change is inevitable, and good, and that your hair is really quite FEE-nominal in all honesty, and that you have got some of the prettiest grey eyes ever, and please smile for me, because you have one killer smile even if your upper lip is flat, and no plumping stuff will work. And then you realize how blessed you are, and how things really aren't all that bad, you just have to take it in stride and handle one problem at a time. So you put on a smile and wash your face and lay your head down in you bed, early, and dream of that little voice and the face it belongs to: they mystery man on the end of the tension rope..... Or at least you hope.
That was my day. In a nut shell. I being the nut.
I probably won't post again till Sunday, I've got homework and stuff to do.
So goodnight, and sweet dreams, sing to me Chris Martin.

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