January 14, 2009

My own personal light socket and finger

I swear. If I had any luck, I'd have no luck at all.

I'm not actually sure that the above phrase makes any sense, but once a boss told me that when I explained to him that the reason I was late for work, was that a. I ran out of gas on my way to school, b. discovered that my sister and my transcripts had been combined so that we were once person, c. spilled an entire cup of coffee on my once I finally fixed the transcript problem and finally d. broke my book bag while driving to work, which made everything spill everywhere (leading to the coffee spill) and making me not only almost hit four cars, a pedestrian and a light post, but also two dogs and a rabbit. Needless to say it was one of those great days. But that's not what this post is about.

Remember how my computer caught a cold, which turned into pneumonia, led to diabetes, and ended with a double stroke/heart attack? Well my lovely dad took it to be repaired. The computer people looked and looked and said, yup it's dead, but no worry, we can fix it and save everything on your computer including the 10 pages of your novel that have mysteriously disappeared from your email and are sitting pretty on you little computer. To which I replied, gee golly thanks. The computer was supposed to be done by Christmas Eve. So Christmas eve I call. And a very lovely man from Pakistan answers. I explain who I am, what I want, and he tells me that they are waiting for one part and if it comes in that day he will call but they are only open till two. No such luck on getting that it that day. So I tried again on the 30th. Now the part had come in, but the people who deal with the drivers are on holiday and something is wrong with my driver. So then I called on the 2nd. Now the drivers are repaired, but something else is wrong and it might be the hard drive, so your computer will be done sometime in the new year. At this point I resigned myself to getting it back in say, October. However last Thursday we get a call saying, howdy and good day, your computer is fixed. Yay! So I got it back yesterday. The horrible part is this: the hard drive was dead. Like dead, dead. Thus EVERYTHING that was on my computer was lost. every document, every picture, every music, everything... So alas for my poor self, but lesson learned, back up your dang computers folks! So then this morning I turned it on. This morning I surfed the Internet from my lovely laptop. This morning I went and fixed someone else's computer. This morning I went to Smart and Final to get cream, and this morning I came back and my computer is dead. like seriously dead. I have no idea what the hell is going on with it! Mostly I think it's possessed, thus I should really hire a bishop or whatever the guy who does exorcisms is called and have him fix my computer. That or I have some magical electric current coursing through me that zaps all technology. Which is entirely possible. My grandmother can't wear watches, because she makes them commit suicide with her body's magnetism. Which is just a step away from being and X-man, which is totally cool, and may explain alot of the things that are wrong with me. But long story short, I'm still trying to fix my computer, and if I can't, then I'm going to drive back to Ontario and tell my Pakistani friend that this is just retarded and look buster this had better get fixed soon, or I'm gonna scream and you really don't want that to happen.

In other news last night me and my best friend went out to see a movie and have dinner as her going away party. She's leaving Friday to go to Cal State Northridge, and I'm gonna miss her a bundle! So we saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I cannot gush about this movie enough! It's long, but so! good. I've never read the book though I've wanted to, but from what I hear they stuck pretty good with it. But really, if you haven't seen it, go do so! During the whole three hours of the movie I was never bored, or uninterested, and I got very attached to all the characters. Plus Cate Blanchett's clothes were to absolutely die for! After the movie we went to CPK for dinner which was a ton of fun. We made our poor waiter think we were nutso, which was really fun. Sarah asked if we could order an appetizer and he said no sarcastically and she was all, oh... okay. and then he was all I'm joking, and she was all, OH! hahahahaha, can we get an appetizer? Then when we ordered I asked for the garlic Parmesan pasta thingy. my words exactly. Plus we were having really random conversation which was super funny watching him freak out about! oh good times!

Okay I just got off the phone with a client who's sole perpose in calling me was to have me help her fix her printer. I just spent a half hour trying to help her fix her computer over the phone, even though I kept telling her I have no idea what the problem is. We not only uninstalled and reinstalled the printer, we test printed and troubleshooted, and did everything else known to man to try and fix her damn printer, to non avail. So I told her try highlighting and pasting it into a word document. She was crying by now and saying that she tried that, but it just froze, and she's sick, and is having a really bad year, and she lives with two other people, and their printers don't work and I think her dog died or something, or I don't know what else she was telling me, but holy frock she needs a massage or something. Then I asked myself why is she calling her attorney to fix her computer problems? I mean I know I'm supposed to be part of the tech age and all, but seriously who doesn't try to fix their printer on their own, or CALL TECH SUPPORT!? So lesson to everyone: if your clients call with computer problems, tell them that you are computer deffecient and to call their tech people.

On another note today is Chipotle Wednesday. Which means that Jess and I go get Chipotle for lunch. It happens to be my favourite day. So after we got our lunch and were working like good little worker girls, Jess reminded me of how on Monday Bri and I discovered the most vile thing ever in the office fridge: Brisk Green Ice Tea: Green Apple Flavoured. Okay I'm all for green apple flavoured stuff, but who really thought that this was a good idea to make crapy carb-filled tea taste like a granny smith? So Bri and I decided that we'd open a can and take shots of it to assess it's vileness. Bri got cups and poured the green slime into them. First off, it was green and looked like a bad science experiment involving asparagus and pee. Secondly it smelled like liquid cotton candy covered in sugar, with more sugar thrown on top for good measure. I almost died from the stench. No friggin joke.... I told her there was no way in heaven, hell or anywhere in between that was going to get me to drink that. But somehow I ended up do so anyway. Both Bri and I cheersed each other then put the cups to our lips. the stuff barely touched the tip of my tongue before I spit it out and screamed. Bri yelled "oh my god! What did I just injest!" needless to say it was horrible. So I made Jess drink it today and to quote her: "that was like drinking cancer!" Needless to say it's horrible. So you should not drink it, or do so and then tell me how horrible it was and why did I tell you to drink that?

Okay I think this is a long enough post. Hey does anyone remember the term for when you ask a question, but it's not a question and is understood as a statement? I can't remember for the life of me, and it's driving me nuts!

okay that's it....


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