January 8, 2009

The Sleep Depravation Is Getting To Me

Okay I am not exactly sure what the hell is up with this, but I would certainly enjoy it if the "baby" dreams would stop! Seriously! Last night I had a dream that I got married in this uber small town that I lived in. Granted this was the coolest small town ever. We had a subway system that was exactly like the one in New York. Like I'm actually not kidding you. It was the New York Subway in this small town. All the stops were the ones in New York, except it was an open air subway. Like a trolley car in Frisco but on the New York Subway tracks.... But moving on with the point of this story. I went away on my honeymoon and came back to find that I was "preggo". This of course freaked me out and I proceeded to have heart palpitations. Then I told my husband *okay now let me say that it was the same one as before, and I did not mind that part of the dream one single bit, however this next section is grounds for divorce from my dream husband* and he was all "oh hey that's cool I guess. let's tell your mom." and I was all "um hello douche why are you not freaking out?" and he was all "well first it's really not that big of a deal and we kinda got ourselves into this mess." and chuckled very dirtily and I was all "wow I am totally going to punch you in the face right after I finish throwing up here." you should note that this conversation was taking place over a toilet. then we went and told my mom who was all "oh hey that's cool I guess. Let's go tell everyone in town." and I was all "um hello? why am I the only one paranoid about this?!" and my mom was all "jeez ash, cool it. It's just a baby." and I was all "yeah who I will be responsible for warping it's mind!" and then my mom was all "well it's really not that big of a deal, and you kinda got yourself into this mess." then chuckled very dirtily. This was basically the same conversation I had with everyone. Well no scratch that. Only my parents, sister *who btw was also married in said dream but did not return from her honeymoon knocked up and the only thing different about our conversation was that she pointed her finger at me and laughed and said " ha ha ha ha haha!" at which point I did punch her.*, and Sarah, and Charissa were all "it's just a baby so keep your panties on, cuz if you had in the first place you wouldn't be here right now" *That was you Sarah, and you also received a punch in the face*. The towns people, none of whom I actually know, were freaking out about this and took it upon themselves to make sure I was "safe" which means that I couldn't ride the subway again, I had to continuously wash my hands * don't have a clue what that was all about*, needed to be rushed to the bathroom at regular intervals *like wheeled in a wheel chair to the bathroom and forced to pee! I'm telling you I need to stop the drugs*, and every time I went anywhere I had to be chaperoned by at least three people. The rest of the dream was just me trying to escape the crazed downs people, nearly falling from the platform by the water tower that everyone had to get married on, and some really rather vomit inducing moments of sweetness. Also there was the one particular towns girl who was highly annoying *I'm pretty sure she was the one who kept insisting that I use the toilet* and all up in my husband's grill, and I had a bit of a showdown with her in which I said "yo home girl, what up fool? don't mess with my man, because I am apparently very violent whilst pregnant and unless you want a deformed face, I'd lay off!" All in all it was very exciting.

Now let me say that it is everything I can do to keep from giggling ferociously at this dream. It was very hard to write out with a straight face. But WTF!!!!! is up with this?!!!! It really freaked me out. Like REALLY freaked me out. So I was trying analyze this stupid dream and this is what I got from it: Item 1. Stay in School and don't get knocked up. I've blown* the first half of this lesson, so I'm horribly screwed*! *<------ Read this Jess! I think I need sleep!!!!* Item 2. Don't live in small towns with subway systems. Item 3. I will apparently be very violent when I get pregnant, you have been forewarned. Item 4. I need to figure out what it is that I am doing before bed that triggers these horrible dreams, cuz they're freaking me out! Item 5. And I'm actually shocked/alarmed/horrified I'm actually typing this, mostly because I am laughing so hard* at this right now, but a word of wisdom: bring condoms on your honeymoon.... Holy frock! that took me like five minutes to actually type! Moving on very quickly though... What is it my sub conscious is trying to tell me? I don't know and I'm too tired to figure it out, so this is open for interpretation.... Have a whack at it... I'm feeling slightly traumatized. Maybe that's what I'm being told. The thought of motherhood freaks me out, thus I should not have kids. Except it really doesn't. I like kids and someday I'd like to have my own. Maybe I'm just paranoid of having kids before I'm ready...... I'm spent on explanations, so have fun with this... I'm going to go get more coffee....

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