January 9, 2009

A Variation On A Theme

Okay so just so everyone who was worried knows, me and my dream husband ( that is the bozo who keeps showing up in all my baby dreams, and is generally all "oh golly that's cool" about EVERYTHING) and I are in dream marriage counselling. Last night my head was again invaded by this dude, who I discovered that his name is Paul. And whilst he did apologize for the disturbing array of dreams I've been having he also clued me into why I've been having them. There are two reasons. Number one borders on the TMI, and no its not about sex or anything related to that, well kinda but no, it's not actually, and now I've just dug myself a hole of confusion and I'm not even sure what I'm talking about anymore.... Reason number two makes a little more sense and is actually the conclusion I was leaning towards yesterday afternoon (cuz I swear I spent the whole day freaking out about this stupid dream). This is the reason: *and if any of you laugh at me, well I will just remember to punch you in the face when I really am pregnant and violent* How do I say this? Um.... I want to have a life? Yeah that works. See I know ALOT of girls, who are the same age as me, or younger than me, or only a few months older who are popping out babies and all sorts of nonsense. Whereas I have a plan that the deviates into two plans depending on the success on said plan and which way it's leaning, which right now it's leaning to a very cool side that I'm likin' alot, and would oddly end me up where my dream took place last night and no it is not a small town with a subway system. So my sub conscious is telling me that despite my apparent lack of flirting skills and disastrous history with guys, when I do meet "the one" things will probably happen very quickly *I'm just sayin' that I would be the one of all my sisters to come back from my honeymoon and figure out "Holy Frock! I'm gonna have a frocking kid!", I'm also the one who would have twins, so please God no more of these dreams? k' thanks!* thus I'd better do what I want to do now, and not put it off, and search for "love". Now moving on to the actual dream that bordered on.... Crap! I just censored myself and I don't like that, but I seriously want to say it! What the hell! People should know by now that I'm blunt so here it goes.... that bordered on being PG-13 ish. While you don't need to know how it bordered on this, you do need to know that... CRAP! I did it again! Since when did I become self aware?.... know that I'm kinda liking couples counselling. I just realized that if there are any women out there who read my rants/yammers/evidence that will probably someday be used against me in a court of law who happen to have sons around my age that are single, they are currently hiding them from me. Except for one token woman who is probably actually cracking up at all this and trying to hunt down my email, because she thinks her son could use a girl like me, then we'll meet and he'll be a total douche, but there's some sadness in his eyes and through a very funny array of mishaps and Shakespearean conversations, we'll fall madly in love, but some old hag who he's related to will decide I'm not enough of a lady and thus cut him out of her will and we'll know that we can't survive with out the money she will inherit to him so we keep our love a secret and have a mad and passionate affair, and I'll get on a plane to leave for Morocco and he'll kiss me and say "we'll always have Paris baby", then he'll get shot because somehow the mafia got involved and as I lay over his dying body he'll manage to open his eyes smile at me and yell "FREEDOM!!! and Rosebud!" and then I'll curse the sky and the credits will roll. Lady you really don't want to get your son mixed up with me. Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah couples counselling. Before I move on though, let me just say how impressed with me you should all be for that little ditty there. I quoted Much ado about Nothing, and Braveheart and Citizen's Cane, AND Casablanca all in one breath. at least it was one breath for me.

So yeah couples counselling.... Well the point is it ended up being a good dream and there were no babies present. I just realized that my earlier statement made it sound like I am wanting to have children right now. Let me clarify this by saying a loud and resounding NO. If you've ever heard me call for someone you know how loud and resounding I can be. I once read that if you are dreaming of babies that means you really want a new purse, so I am gonna go with this. I do not want children currently, nor do I really want to be married at this moment in my life. And since I do actually have a set of moral codes that I apply to my life the first ain't gonna happen without the latter happening first. Thus I really have nothing to worry about and am just being a psychopath and worrying about nothingness. Wow what has happened to this blog? It's just a big pile of awkwardness now....
In other news I cut my bangs and they turned out really nice. Also It's Santa Ana Winds season and my skin wants to die. Also I figured out how to not smell like beer, while still using my body products. also we had an earthquake last night. it was a big one. I like earthquakes. California will not fall into the Pacific ocean anytime soon, or ever for that matter, because California does not have those kind of fault lines thankyouverymuch and will end up being in Frisco, which i have no problem with because I actually really like Frisco. We have the kind that rumble vertically, not the kind that go horizontally. If you ever look me up on America's most wanted and come visit me, I'll show you with my hands, because it's a better visual.
So my coffee just ran out which means it's time for me to end and get more. On a small side note I just had a conversation with Chel and Dee about weddings and boat cruises. I think we should have our own reality show.....

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