February 4, 2009

I solemnly swear I am not going to bitch

I owe you all an apology. A long, dripping in niceties, tear worthy, apology. But before we get to that I think I need to discuss "The LaRocca" or commonly known as "the douche". Back when I started gophering for my dad in April of last year, he was always complaining about a certain Attorney here who was a not very nice fellow and annoyed everyone quite alot. So when I came here and met said fellow I coined him as "the Douche". I shan't recall our first conversation because I don't use words like that, but he does and he thought that I was a client. Since that day I have found it very fun to come up with nicknames for him that involve the word "douche". Some of my favourites included Albus Dumbledouche, Harry Doucher, The jolly little Leppraudouch, The little Merdouche, Douchey Mouse, Frankendouche, The douche-bag of Notre Dame, etc. They continue on like this. He is really a horrible man. In reality he is a sad, strange, little man (no joke he's super short and thinks he needs to justify his shortness to everyone), who will probably die alone, but it would be of his own doing and frankly my dears I just don't like him enough to care. Then Jessica came to work here. "The LaRocca" has taken a sudden liking to Jess and calls her "his surfer girl". It's really rather creepy, and also makes me laugh hysterically. He just walked in to our office and made a horribly lame surfing motion and smiled at her. Jess and LaRocca sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. I'm sorry Jess that's horrible of me, but you'd do it to me if the situation were reversed. Just be glad it's not "Andy Bernard" who's in love with you, he might offer you some of his crack*.
On to business. I have to apologize for my horrible mood as of late. There is no excuse for how sordid** I've been. Well there is, but I need to get over it, so whatever. Thus I am going to take a week off from posting (other than my American Idol post(which btw, omfg! Bikini Girl!!!)) to re-evaluate what I'm doing here. Also because I am having a bit of a hard time figuring out how to manage my time in regards to job/life/career/other stuff. It's very taxing. So good bye until next week (or tomorrow...) have a very jolly one.
*This is another character in my office and yes, we are absolutly certain her really does use crack on a daily basis. There is no other excse for his behaviour and weird way of walking around like he had to take a crap.
** Once when I was like 17 I had an audition with the word "sordid" in the line, and I'd never heard the word before so I assumed that it was a typo and meant to be "Morbid", so I read it "morbid". The director proceeded to have me read this same part like a million times and he kept staring at me like I was a moron and I couldn't figure out why. Needless to say I didn't get the part, but I did get a better part full of words that I actually said correctly

1 comment:

  1. oh did sarah tell you?
    ya, it sucks. but god has a perfect plan!