March 3, 2009


First off let me say I think I might have finally grown up. I know. 'Bout dern time. Yesterday I was sick (this is the cold from hell by the by), and a jumble of nerves and thoughts and I almost divulged some very personal information that, had the other person who is involved read it, it would not have been a pretty sight, and would have made things worse. But then I stood back, and was like a. no one else cares, and b. I'm trying to fix the situation, not make it worse. So instead I bought some sunglasses online. Moral of the story: if you're unsure about posting something, buy sunglasses because they make things clearer.
But speaking of clearer, let me lay some stuff out there for people who don't read this, but keep saying things to me, because they seem to be confused on some points about my life:
1. No I will not do your musical. I am not doing musicals at this point in my life. Call me in ten years, we'll talk then.
2. No I will not move to New York. I have been to New York City twice. I do not like New York City. It's not that I don't like it, it is just not my kinda place. I'm a small town city girl. This is why I love Portland. Plus it rains. I have no intention of moving to New York despite what anyone says. We tried that once, and it didn't work out so well, so please and thank you, be quiet.
3. Yes I have left the hell-mouth known as RCC. No I will not be going back to get a degree. Yes RCC is a hell-mouth. (If you don't know what a hell mouth is, let me introduce you to my friend Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She is the shizz. No arguments. Also let me introduce you to RCC. See it is a hell-mouth.)
4. No I'm not pregnant.
5. No I am not a wiccan.
6. No I am not going to be an Opera star. I love Opera, I love classical music, but I NEVER wanted to follow that as a career. I may at some point in my life want to sing Tosca but today is not that point. Nor will be tomorrow as far as I can see.
7. I'm so sorry. I hope you understand that.
8. No I do not like my name, nor do I think that it fits me. No I do not look like a "Lou".
9. I am not going to get married anytime soon barring a miracle in which Larry Mullen Jr. randomly shows up at my door. Dear Larry Mullen Jr, Please marry me, because a. you are so sexy fine for a 40-something, b. you have some mad drumming skills, c. loved the shirt last night on Letterman, d. you are the only still single member of U2, thus my only ticket to stalking Bono. Plus I love Ireland. Call me.
Are we all clearer now? What a week.
I should mention that none of this was said in malice, but all in jest (well mostly). People keep asking me a bizarre array of questions, and everyone seems to have an opinion on where I should be going, and what I should be doing. Let me tell you all, I listened to people's opinions for about 8-9 years. It didn't work out so well. Since I've started doing what I want to do, I've been more happy, and fulfilled than ever. Feel free to leave comments and suggestions, but know that I'm not going to listen to them all. Feel free to rain on my parade. I like rain, and always have an umbrella. But please don't assume that I am going to listen to your advice and wisdom. I have a very wonderful group of people surrounding me whom I do go to for advice and wisdom. I do listen to these people very carefully and mindfully, but ultimately I have to make my own decisions. I'm going to eff up occasionally. It's called being young. I'm glad you all want to offer me advice, but I'm good. If I need it I'll ask you. If you think I'm an idiot, then feel free to continue thinking so. I might be, but I also might be onto something. So thanks for the concern, but I'm good. I like to call myself a human compass (I never get lost. And I'm not joking about that. Also I always know where North and South are. It's uncanny.), and I've got my sights set on a very good direction. I'm doing it prayerfully, and wisely. So please don't worry about me. I'm going to be just fine.


  1. CRAP! there's a part in a new musical for a pregnant wiccan who is studying to be an opera star but it's opening in New York.....guess you're not interested?

  2. no...i don't think she's returning to school, except to fight off the evil coming forth from the hell mouth...because she has to protect her baby who is destined to become the Miss Universe who actually makes world peace happen.

  3. you should shave your head.


    no? well, all right then. it was worth a try.

  4. And Larry Mullen, Jr. has been married for years!

  5. 2 and 6 are false.

    After we went to New York the first time, you told me we should move there. You said we should get an apartment and jog in central park yesterday. Then you wanted to move to London. You said we could go visit other countries on the weekends. Then you wanted to move to Ireland. You said we could meet some hot guys. Then you wanted to move to San Francisco. You said it would be fun and artsy. Then you wanted to move to L.A. You said you would become an actress/ musician. Then you wanted to move to ...

    Also, there was a time when I was told that you were going to college to become and opera singer. I also remember this is originally why you wanted to go to Juliard.

    LOL pwned.

  6. I was going to go to Juiliard because I had been told by other people that I should go to Juiliard. I never actually wanted to go there, I just wanted to leave Riverside, which is evident by your explaination of number 2. My secret plan was to go to school there and audition for broadway, then make it big and drop out and move to Ireland, England, San Francisco, or Portland. I never actually wanted to stay in New York. It's too cramped and dirty. I don't know why you have such a big issue with my not liking New York. I love the place to visit, just not to live there.
    And that is the final word on the subject.

  7. oh and mom, thanks for bursting my bubble.