Sometimes I will be thinking about something that I love and realize that I haven't really changed all that much since I was a wee'un. I mean, I still could live off of Orange Juice and Chicken Fingers, I still like getting dressed up in crazy combos, I still think $20 is a lot of money, and I still think that the world is a magical place filled with wonderful things just waiting for me to explore them. When I was a kid
Growing up we lived with my grandparents who's house was on the church property. There was a big field in the back that was kind of a junk yard, huge trees we made into forts, and a storage facility for those giant shipping containers that trains carry. My sisters and I played out there from sunup to sundown. We played in the containers much to my mother's horror (incidentally I always like movies where there is some scene with shipping containers, especially if it is some showdown fight, because they are just the best place for hiding!). I loved playing out in these places, making up some story about being a feral child or fairy or something. I look at these childhood tenancies and realize now that they are just a facet of my personality. So all those years I was trying to "figure out" who I am were kind of useless. I know who I am, I've always been the same person. I suppose I look at life more as a constant shift rather and than an evolution. You don't have to become someone new just because you grew up. You just have to figure out how the parts of you fit into grown up life. I still love exploring, and trying to brake into places that look intriguing. But now I take it with a grain of salt and at least try to avoid getting arrested.
So yesterday I was tired. I'd had a long day and a headache. I was feeling a bit, I don't know, disillusioned with life. I was tired of campus and exams every bleeding day, and I just needed to take a brake. So I went on a walk. I grabbed my camera and tripod and set off to find some place secluded enough to take pictures. I'd found a few decent options and a creek! But something kept me walking. I had no idea where I was going, I just kept walking. I saw a path and walked down it. It was through a thickly forested area and smelled like grass and mud and all those good earthy things. I saw a small clearing and walked towards it. It was not a small clearing but rather a huge open field surrounded by forest. The setting sun danced across the grass and trees and I just stopped took a deep breath and just looked. It is the kind of place where you feel beautiful just being there. Not because you are necessarily, but because there is so much beauty around you it just starts to spill into you. It was like this place has been made just for me. A creek, a field, a forest, remains of a tree house, a spooky looking barn... I just smiled. It is gorgeous. I can't even begin to describe it. It just was so wonderful. I spent the next hour and a half wandering around, taking pictures, taking deep breaths, and daydreaming. It was pretty perfect. And I fully intend to go back until I get caught. I love this place so much.