October 25, 2008

This is what happens when a book controls your moods:

You become incredibly depressed at the depressed-ness of said book and then whenever you go to write a blog it's about all the horribly depressing aspects of your life, which aren't really horribly depressing, you just can't seem to be happy. The last couple of days have been sooooo weird! My lovely friend Lauren called me yesterday to see if i wanted to go to a show of some mutual friends. Lauren and I get to see each other about once a year. it always cracks me up when we get together. We're two peas in a pod. She and I met when we did Bye Bye Birdie in 2006. And we were almost instantaniously friends. So many memories from that show! Lauren and I are both hippies (she's more than so than I) in a funkalicious way. It's probably a good thing we only see each other once a year because we always end up being horribly loud and obnoxious! Like if I whisper to her that I thought the first Twilight book was orgamsmic, and she yells across the theatre "ORGASMIC!" Alerting our fellow theatre patrons of our conversation. Actually it was hiliarious. It was so much fun So thanks Lauren for a great Friday! The show was good too! I knew about half the cast, and the other half I knew through association. And then I knew about 80% of the audience. There was one little sour point, but it was over quickly and moved on, so all in all it was a highly succesful evening. I wore my favourite yellow dress, with a grey cardi, and my fave white heels. Very cute, very overdressed. But that's me! We sat with Jill and Jessica Saiz which is always entertaining and fun!
So today I AM going to clean my room finally and do laundry and go through clothes and paint my toenails (the fatal flaw with my outfit last night), and ......
Lots to do. Oh and I need to finish reading my Twilight books. Did you know that they're orgasmic?

October 21, 2008

I'm in mourning and need to vent.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know better. And sometimes I wish I didn't bite my tongue. Or that I didn't know any better to bite my tongue. I know that if I actually was to say all that I wanted to say I would end up regretting it, but sometimes it just feels so relieving to yell all the horrible things you think about that person in their face after years and years of doing so to me. Sometimes I am annoyed that my mama raised me right.
I think it's sad when family members choose favourites and least favourites. I am THE least favourite on both sides with my extended family. It's sad. I'm not sad for me, because frankly they (with two, possibly three exceptions) aren't nice enough for me to care. But sad for them. I'm really a pretty okay gal, and yet they will never get the chance to know that. I don't understand how my living situation is a. any of their business or concern, or b. somehow wrong. I don't know what I have ever done to offend them other than be born. It's very sad for them. And a little bit for me. I do wish I had nice family. But then I see my parents, who would defend me and love me to the death. I go to them with my problems. Can you say that? And my siblings. I'd take all kinds of horrible torture to save them and they'd do the same for me. My baby sister calls me when she learns to dial phone numbers to ask how my day is and tell me that she's "at school learnin' stuff." I have the best friends ever. I'd do anything for them, and they'd do the same for me. We can be serious and ridiculous, and do it sober. I have a bright shining future ahead of me with a ton of possibilities. I'm a pretty cool young woman. And with the way I have been treated, I'm not sorry that you don't know that. You don't deserve to know that.
I am sad. I'm sad that I've taken this for so long. I should have said something back when I was five. But I didn't. Because I was raised to be polite and keep my opinions to myself when they weren't needed. It hurts to know that that's what you think of me, because it isn't the case. You don't know me, or my life, so what right do you have to determine whether or not I'm making good decisions? I could lash out in anger and tell you all the things I really think of you, but that would be stooping to your level. So I won't. I will mourn for the death of that glimmer of hope I've always had that somehow I'd be good enough for you all to like me. But I don't need to have you like me. SO I leave you with this:
Don't ever mock me again. Don't talk to me anymore because I will not respond. Don't joke with or about me. Don't even feel you have the privilege to say my name. I will not think of you. But let me tell you that I will show you. I will show you big time that when you mess with me or the people I love, you will get what you're asking for. It will not be pretty. I will someday be someone you wish you could know, but ya'know what? You won't. You can try all you like to leech off of other's success, but you won't leech off me because I am done with you. You never existed, and will not in my thoughts from now on.
I hope you're happy with yourself. Have a nice life.
And I know now that I'll never be good enough for you. I'll be better.

October 20, 2008

Badabing badaboom, and other mob stories

SO I just got back from filing something at the Bankruptcy court. It's only three blocks away so as usual I walked there and back. On my way there I noticed our local chanel 2/9 newsbus parked near the county administration building, which is across from the bankruptcy court and directly behind the jail. I wondered what it was that they were doing here since, y'know it's Riverside and all, and what is going on that is news worthy (the last time I saw them here was years ago when the Govenator was stopping by and I accidentally almost got hit by his SUV then unknowingly talked to my favourite newsanchor on KFI (the talk radio station in LA. No it was the time when pres. Bush came to stay at the Mission Inn and I was walking home from a voice lesson and got caught up in a nasty peace rally as his limo drove by. I don't remember which came first.). So on my way back I noticed another newsbus for chanel 4. Now I have to fatal flaws that will probably end up killing me eventually. The first is that I am a notorious evesdropper, and my curiosity is about 30 million times bigger than that dead cat they tell me about. I'm the one who whenever there is some sort of police thingy going on (like a bust, or a high speed persut) I want to go check it out. SO many times my friends have predicted that I am going to be shot whilst checking one of these out. I guess thats why I love mysteries so much. They're just thrilling. Anyway. The problem with having these fatal flaws is that one of them usually leads to the other so I'm almost never without them. So there I was walking down the street next to the chanel 4 bus thinking "hmmm. what's going on here?"(curiosity) when I heard this snippet of conversation(followed by evesdropping): "yeah a couple of years ago I was covering another one of these Mob guy trials here. his name was Mondo, and nicest guy ever, but he killed like 45 people in one day and..." (followed by more curiosity). OMG! It's a mob trial! How cool is that! I so wanted to stop and ask the guy some burning questions I have about the mob. Like how do you get involved with them exactly? Where do you go to meet guys "who know a guy"? Where are all the darkly lit, smokey Italian restraunts where these guys hang out? Just how does one get tangled up in the mob? Where are the underground pits of sin where you gamble with mob guys and lose big time? Riverside may be the meth capital of the world, but where do all the mob guys hide? I really want to know this. It's highly frustrating too because I have this talent for ending up in places where I don't mean to be, and yet I have never been able to get in with the mob! SO I've been flipping through those chanels trying to find out what's going on. My dad just got back from the BK court and so did my sister and future brother-in-law. They said that there are about fifty cameras outisde the court. Significance: the district court is next to the BK court. they're like a court-condo. One half is the BK court and the other is the district court. That's where a mob trial would be if it was being held. I think I need to find an excuse to go back to the court... or I could get the work i need to get done done... it's a toss up...

October 19, 2008

Something Nasty in the Woodshed

Have you ever seen Cold Comfort Farm? I's one of my all time favourite movies (I know I have alot). It based on a book written in the late 1920's/early 1930's (two fashion periods I LOVE). The book is set in a futuristic late 1920's England(video phones are the bees knees) however the movie is set in the realistic late 1920's. It really is a must see full of zany characters, a family curse, a well endowed bull, and a rather handsome "embreo pilot", all surrounding the lead character of Flora Poste. It stars Kate Beckinsale, Rufus Sewell, Ian McKellen, and JoAnna Lumley(who is from Absolutly Fabulous and is Absolutly Fabulous!), Eileen Atkins, and Stephen Frye.









So anyways I thought it would be fun to do this week's TDI based on Cold Comfort Farm. Please to enjoy:

Untitled by Fraxini

I had far too much fun with this week's outfits. Flora first arrives and is greeted by a cart full of manuere, which she cleans out in style.

Untitled by Fraxini
Why did we ever stop dressing so beautifully? Flora brings her cousin Elphine to the Birhtday Ball of Elphine's love, much to both her, and his family's chagrin.

Untitled by Fraxini
As flora rearanges everyone's life, she manages to get in some time with her old Aunt Ada Doom, who reveals a suprise at Dick and Elphine's wedding.

okay and I know, but It was too much fun so here's what Flora leaves in, though it looks nothing like her outfit in the movie. I was just having far too much fun.

Untitled by Fraxini

So there you go. Now watch that movie!
I'm off to Oak Glan for Apples


October 15, 2008

Did you hear the one about the drunk pony?

No seriously, did you? If not go here to read the story. It surely brightened my day. The best parts of the story is that the pony's name is FatBoy, and that the lady (whom I'm assuming is old) thought he was the Beast of Bodmin Moor! I'd better watch out. We have a pool. The Chubacabra might fall in one day. Did you know that they have almost certainly proved the existence of the Chubacabra? I'm a very firm believer in Nessie and Bigfoot, and am completely convinced that there are hundreds of animals roaming the streets that we don't know about. Call me crazy, but it's true! Click on that last link and go to the bottom of the page for a link to a news report on the Beast, it's very interesting.

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today. It's been hot again which is no fun. We desperately need rain. I took my final midterm exam yesterday, which was fine, but then my stupid professor decided that it was necessary for us to take our usual Tuesday test on Thursday, so I'll be reading and outlining a chapter about something sappy-liciou whilst I watch Project Runway and Pushing Daises. Alright enough chit-chat. I've got a huge stack of papers on my desk to get through. I hope that FatBoy brightens your day!


October 12, 2008

I'm wearing flowers in my hair... Metaphorically of course

The weather has been wonderful this weekend! Simply marvelous! It's been about 75 and wonderfully cool, but bright and sunny. My family is going to the beach today, which I would love to join them, but I have about a bajillion things to do which include these:

  • Working on my hallowe'en costume
  • Going through clothes to get rid of, or refashion
  • Washing and ironing my clothes
  • Trying to start a smock top I've been trying to make form a little over a month
  • Studying for my Midterm next week which is worth 30% of my grade
  • Watching my Netflix so I can send them back
  • Moving the rest of my stuff from downstairs to upstairs
  • Finishing cleaning my room
  • Scrubbing my bed because Gracie wet it last night

That's the tip of the list... Eek! But it's all good. It's been a really wonderful morning. I really love Sundays. And I am loving that tomorrow is a holiday! Yay!

Anyhoodles, here's this weeks TDI for the lovely San Francisco ( one of my favourite places to be!)

So did anyone else notice that this is the same headband Chuck wore on this past week Pushing Daisies? Which I have not mentioned enough how much I love that show! Also if anyone wants to buy me these Jack Purcells I would have no problem with that!


October 10, 2008

I have hot pink nails


My brain is like a ping-pong ball today. Lot's o'stuff flying around trying to file it's self in my mental filing cabinet. So here's what's happening:
*After the week I took off of school from my accident, I got so behind I had to drop all my music classes in order to keep up with my academic classes. So no more choir, voice lessons, theory, sectionals, piano, or computer labs. I'm not all that upset about it either. which leads me to my next thing.
*I'm not going back to school in the spring. I've always hated formal learning and never had a desire to get a degree. So starting in January I'm going to be doing auditions for professional stuff in L.A. and anywhere else there are professional auditions. I'm so excited!
*The economy sucks ass. Seriously. This whole financial crap that our lovely government got us into makes me so angry! Angry enough to move to New Zealand! My parent's made sure I understood economics and I think I understand it better than the government. I know alot of friends and friends of friends who are having a hard time, or soon will, and it's so saddening. I work in a Law Office that handles Bankruptcies, and everyday someone new is calling saying the same thing, we can't afford to pay our bills, our mortgage. Monday a lady came in crying and I had to hug her and tell her everything would be fine. It's really a burden to be an eternal optimist. Even if I can see the silver lining in things, that doesn't mean I don't see the dark clouds too. I don't know it's all going to be okay. I'm going to end up paying for all these stupid decisions, as well as my kids and grand kids. There's alot of beauty in the world, and alot of crap. But sometimes the crap is covering too much of the beauty, and even eternal optimists can get down.
*I have rediscovered my love of Charlotte Church. Which is odd, but refreshing. My brain works better after listening to her. I'm going to go buy her not-released-in-the-U.S.- CD from Amazon.
*Not having a car is highly annoying.
*I love that the bus is now free for students.
* I just finished a book called Howl's Moving Castle. There is an anime-like cartoon done by Hyao Miazaki(major SP) after the book (which I saw before reading the book), which made me cry like a little girl. There is something so bewitchingly, charmingly, beautiful about that movie. It' a love story filled with mystery, magic, and mischief. The book, however, is a bajillion times better!!! Seriously it's such an excitingly wonderful story. I couldn't put it down! I was so excited to read it, I put the movie on the top of my netflix queue. And it's going to be at my house by 2pm!
*I just started reading the first book of the Twilight series. My mom bought it and finished it in about three hours, the proceeded to tell me the entire story(well almost), so now I'm reading it. I'm only on like the fourth page, due to sleeping last night, and working today. But so far it's very good. My mother is now obsessed with vampires, and even commented to me and Bri that our family would make a good Vampire Clan. My mom needs help sometimes.
*I have become obsessed with those pour and shake Crystal Light packets for water bottles. More specifically the Fruit Punch kind. If I drink anymore I'm going to go crazy, but I feel great.
*I HATE my speech class. And I'm over talking about our emotions.
* This week has been super hot. Like in the hundreds hot. But today I awoke to some lovely grey clouds which are still rolling through. it's in the 70's and promises rain. I wore shorts and a tank top.
*I dyed my hair. It's a really gorgeous colour! I've been calling it a dark raspberry brown, which is pretty accurate. Everyone who has seen it loves it, and I would marry this hair colour if I could.
*I miss my sisters. Sarah and Bri were with me in the office yesterday, and it just wasn't the same without Charissa. Come to visit us soon my dear.
*I'm really excited for Hallowe'en. I have a really cool costume that I have to work on still, but I am very excited about it. What is it? A surprise! But I'll give you a hint, I have done a TDI related to it, and it doesn't have anything to do with The Wizard of Oz... Also we're throwing a Hallowe'en Murder Mystery Dinner, which is going to be awesome!
*My thoughts and prayers go out to the Wolgemuth Family today. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Debbie, I pray that the Lord will bring you and Aaron and Hannah peace in the coming months. Steve was a genuinely sweet man, and though we know he is in the Lord's presence today enjoying all the glory and majesty of our heavenly father, he will be missed. I pray that you all will have the strength and peace that only comes from our Heavenly Father.
So this has been my last week. I've got a busy schedule this weekend, which is nice since it's a Holiday on Monday. Good ol' Columbus who did not discover the New World. It was actually my ancestor Lief Erikson, but I don't really care what kind of Holiday it is as long as we get the day off! Well I'm off to do more work. Sorry to end on such a sad note.
Love and Tootles!

October 4, 2008

Life is a song

I wish I could say what this song does to me... It takes me away, far away. So beautiful. By the incredible Yann Teirsen whom you may recognize as the composer for Amelie and Goodbye Lennin. And how wonderfully sweet is this video?
Imagine if you would the most perfect fall day. It's gloomy, and cold (by Southern California standards). The sky is dark with the impending rain, the wind is blowing wildly, and all you want to eat is soup, and bread, and pie, and cider, and coffee, and cocoa, and potatoes, and corn, and veggies(mostly lima beans, green beans, carrots), and more pie. And you don't really want to do anything, but sit in Barnes and Noble sipping coffee or tea, and watching the loveliness of the outside world. Because depite the rather soddy week you had, and the pain you're still in, life is wonderful and beautiful, because the leaves are beginning to turn shades of loveliness of browns and oranges, and reds, despite the billion degree weather.
And so you lay back and sigh.
Because this is the way life is meant to be. So peaceful and calm, and full of lovely gloomyness.
Welcome fall. Please make it a long stay.
In other news I have decided something very sad, and a little heart breaking: I'm not going to Ireland. It's just a bad idea. I've had some interesting revelations this week and one of them involved the fact that it is incredibly un-wise to go to Ireland this year. I know I'll go back, just not this time. Who knows what lie ahead? All I know is that, even though I know it breaks my heart, and makes me want to cry, going to Ireland is a bad idea right now.
So today the weather is wonderful enough that I can pretend I am in Ireland. Even if I am a little sad...
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
This may seem silly, but I've been humming it all day long so here are the words to my absolute favourite Irish folk song ever. Possibly one of the most beautiful songs ever written. Charlotte Church does a very nice version of it. (though mine is better *wink wink*)
Danny Boy
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come you back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow 'tis
I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And when you come, when all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
For you will bend andtell me that you love me
And I will sleep in peace until you come to me.
Oh Danny Boy, Oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

October 1, 2008

Back to our usual programming

Yup it's fall. Have you ever wondered what fall in California is like? It's virtually non existent. Today is October 1st, and it's 101 outside right now. They say it should be in the 70's by the end of the week, Here's hoping. I'm in a big mood for fall, I'm also in a huge mood to get rid of any excess mass on my body. I started a bad ass diet today. So wish me luck! SO how am I? Good. Today is the first day I haven't been super shaky, and my brain is actually functioning on a semi-normal level. I'm trying to wade through mounds of homework I've been putting off. I haven't been to any of my classes this week, which is really bad, but let me tell you how relaxed I feel. I did my hair, and put on some make-up today. The cut on the back of my head is healing nicely, my arm cut has scabbed over, I keep discovering new bruises, which is weird to wake up and be like, oh look here's a new bruise that goes straight across my boob from the seat belt. The bruise on my shoulder is getting nice and purple. The one on my stomach is black, which is slightly disgusting. I got all the blood out of my hair today finally. And the bruise on my thigh that hadn't yet shown it's self finally perked up today. I've managed to keep some humor through it all, which is good. I've just been taking it easy, sleeping, re-couping. Yesterday I was home alone for most the day, which was nice, because it was nice and quiet until I finally decided to watch the netflix I hadn't watched yet. So I watched Rob Roy and then Braveheart. It was a bit of a kilt-a-palooza, which always makes me happy. I swear though I can never watch those movies without balling like a baby. So beautiful, and inspiring. Plus there are kilts. I always get a huge wave of pride of my Scottish Heritage when I watch them. Then I watched Winning London, which is possibly the worst Mary-Kate and Ashley movie ever. I love them though. I am part of the MK & A generation and am proud of it. Anyhoodles. I'm in the mood for change. So I cut my bangs. They are short, bordering on Bettie Page short, but I cut them right for the first time in a long time. I'm also thinking of dying it back to a brown. See my hair is a natural mousy auburn. In other words it's a weird brown with lots o' red highlights. I've had almost every colour of hair in the book, except blue, which I'm saving for when I get to be about 60. It's not that I don't love how bright red I have been keeping it, it's just that I'm kinda bored with it right now. Oh I never told you all that I dyed it about a week ago. It was supposed to come out a really nice copper, but it came out more of a magenta. My sister told me I looked like Strawberry Shortcake. Most everyone else loved it, but I'm still not entirely sold on it. But I think that's only because I'm kinda feeling like going back to a brown. I'm thinking a soft chocolaty colour. What do you think?

Also I have decided I am going to go Swing Dancing on Monday nights from now on. There's a place that does it downtown. Of course this may not happen so much until I can get a new car.

I've got a ton of re-fashioning and mending to do this weekend. I also really need to get to the big Salvation Army store. I actually have a ton of stuff to drop off there.

Alright well I'm off to go do more homework. I'm missing a whole notebook full of notes, so I should probably go find them...