September 29, 2008

Y'know those days...

When you're just feeling low. And you hve no desire to actually get up and go to school. And you're running late so you don't get your coffee and you rush out of the house. When all the outfits you tried on look horrible so you just threw on a shirt you liked with a dress. When you are upset about the exam you have that day, and not being able to practice more for it. And you have stuff to do at work that you know your brain can't handle, bacause you have more homework that should be legal to do. And you just want to curl up in a ball and sleep and have a pity party all for yourself. But you go on, because it's what you do, and you get into your car, and pull out of the drive way, and go the opposite way because you're running late, so you can't get coffee and go the way you usually do. And you get to the head of the line of cars trying to turn and a bunch of people are turning so they can drop their kids off at the school down the street from you. And you can finally go so you pull out and turn and then....

I got in an accident today. My car, Greta, is totaled. I have a cut on the back of my head, and a really nasty seatbelt briuse on my stomach and shoulder, and chest, and a big cut on my left shoulder from when the glass shattered. The cut ruined my shirt. My back bumper flew off and across the street, my car spun around to face the opposite way. My sunlasses flew into the street through the window. I was hit by another newer volvo. I thought I had died for about 15 seconds. I was sure of it. Your life doesn't flash before your eyes. It's all the people you love, that you don't tell enough. I saw some funny people, my grandparents, my parents, my siblings, Sarah, and Charissa, all the kids I am starting to make friends with, and a boy. I had so many epiphanies in 15 seconds it's not even funny. My life could have ended if the other car had hit me two feet closer. I've never seen my mom cry like that. Or my dad. I have the most incredibly amazing family. I'm still shaken, still shocked.

I don't tell those people that I love them enough. They may know it, but I don't say it enough. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of them. And I don't think I've ever been this thankful for them all. My mom, who's first reaction was "are you okay?" as she threw her arms around me while I cried like a moron. My dad who's first reaction was "one question, are you alright?" as he pulled me into a huge hug, while I cried like a moron. My sister Bri, who was waiting at the door, hugged me and asked if I was okay. Chelsea, who was waiting at the door and asked if I was alright. Gracie who told me not to cry, becaue I will get better, then when she saw the car said "Ashee the volvo is broken." and when I told her I broke it she said "it's okay, you be careful next time." My sister Delaney, who stopped doing her homework to get me a cup of coffee and hug me and rub my back. For Fraser, who came in wanting to know all the details then telling me that when Bri first wakes up she sounds like she's "speaking in Myan or something" and making laugh hysterically and not think about it. Eric who gave me a hug, and grossed out at my bruise and asked if I needed some water. Bri pulled all my beloved bumper stickers off the bumper so I could save them. I called my chior director to let him know I wouldn't be in class today and he asked if I was okay, and if my throat was okay. Only a singer would know the importance of that, but it was really wonderful.

I woke up having a pity party with myself. There's alot of things I've been thinking about, silly things, things I've finly realized and am sad over. But today as I sat in my car watching that lady fly towards me everything stopped. I thought I was going to die. Not like OMG I was going to die. Like I Wish I hadn't yelled at Fraser for sneaking into sleep in my room, and I love them all so much, and I sure hope they all know that when I'm gone, going to die. I wasn't scared. I knew I'd be in heaven, and I knew my family could handle it. I knew my friends could handle it. But then I thought about all the dreams I'd had, that I gave up on, or let die, because it is just little old me, and who cares. What about the children I wanted to have someday, or the man I am going to marry. Or the career I want to have. Or all the things I've always wanted to do? What about all that? And whether it was God pushing me back into this world, or a halucination from the cut on my head, But something made me come back to reality. I emideatly figured out how to get out of the car and found someone to let me use their phone, called my parents. The lady who hit me called the cops. I started thinking about all the crap that this is going to bring. Me wih no car, insurance rates sky rocketing, No sisterhood day, No doing this or that, How am I going to get Bri to school in the morning? My head was overflowing with all the horrible things that are to come. Whene I finally got home, which was only about three blocks away, I sat down and realized everything that had happened. I'm alive, by the Grace of God I'm alive. If I hadn't sped up, If I hadn't tried to swerve... I wouldn't be here to tell you this. But I am. And no one else got hurt, my cuts and bruises will heal, I didn't even need stitches. My professors understand. Everything is fine. Yeah I have no car, but I'm fine. and y'know what, there's a 30% chance of rain today!

My point is that, I'm not done here. I still haven't fulfilled my perpous on this planet. I'm not done. Who knows what I can accomplish. I've always had a respect for life, but now.. I don't know what it is, but somethings changed. I guess that near death experiences do this to you. they make you love and apprecate life and all it's blessings. I mean I drove a whole full load of kids down from Big Bear yesterday in that car. what if that had happened then. But it didn't. It happened just to me, and I'm okay. I just discoverd another cut and bruise. But it's just cuts and bruises. My God I am so thankful for this life! I just want to tell everyone That I love them! I want to go do so much, see so many things. I just want to live my life the way God intended, not feeling sorry for myself. I want to love and be loved, and I don't ever want to look back. I want to know that I've done my best, and did all that i could. I want to sing all ver the world, and drag my 10 kids around with me while I do it. I want a husband I can love, trust and respect, and who returns all those. I want my friends to know that they are loved and missed and I only want the best for them ever! But mostly I am just so thankful to be here, writing this, telling you all how thankful I am, Sitting at a computer, breathing, crying shaking, laughing, singing, screaming, worrying. I'm even thankful for living in Riverside, when on September 29th it's 93 degrees. I really don't have any more words I can say, or type. Just that I am so thankful...

It was one of those days

Now if only I could figure you out...

September 28, 2008

Three Days in The Mountains

I'm posting this on auto post today, because I know I won't remember while I'm up here. So since I am gone for the weekend to Big Bear for a choir retreat, I am giving you Three Days In The Mountains (if I was doing anything but sitting in a cabin, singing all weekend). So here it is:

I would really love it if someone bought me Hunter Wellies for Christmas. Especially if they are red, green, or yellow. Now normally I'm not a denim mini skirt girl, but for the long drive up there tights and a comfy denim skirt would be just lovely, and man I love that hat.

I love to mix pretty things with un-pretty things. A better way of saying that, is that I love contrast in outfits, a very cute dress, coat, a blouse, with rugged boots, and fringe bags. I call it Dainty Dirt. Mostly I just want to live in tights and boots.

The Penultimate Ashley colour pallet! If there was some orange, avacodo green and red we'd be in buisness. How cozy does that coat look? I think this would be quite a lovely outfit for walking in the woods, or roasting marshmellows, or other cabin/mountain/woodsy things.

Well there you have it! I hope everyone's weekend was marvvy! I'll post all about my weekend as soon as I can!


September 27, 2008

How to tell if you're staying with a bunch of musicians

1. Everyone is for the most part selfish about picking all the good rooms in the cabin you're staying at, So you end up in the co-ed bunk room, which granted is incredible, but nonetheless annoying.

2. They all spent the three hour break sleeping and recovering from their hangovers and you spend the three hour break sleeping because you couldn't sleep with all the drunk people the night before.

3. They describe parts of the song as being an "incredible orgasm".

4. The bunk next and above you is being shared by a guy and a girl(the horn-dog guy and fresh meat girl).

5. Random moments of song break out from nowhere.

6. we have to have a talentless talent show because we actually have a talent.

7. As a fun activity we try to find new harmonies for songs, or take pop songs and turn them into choral peices.

8. no one passed 8th grade math.

9. Non musicians would think we are crazy if they heard us crack up laughing when we mess up because only musicians know it.

10. Your Choral Director askes you to sing one of your peices , then asks you to change the style to pop, then rock, then country, then musical theatre, and everyone laughs at the untechnicalness and hi-lariousness of the sound, and you realize: you're all a bunch of dorks. And that despite the vomit stench, you haven't had such a horrible time.

Love, and Peace, and Tootles

September 21, 2008

"And I've never been to Boston in the Fall..."

So as it is still too warm here to officially call it fall, I am dreaming of the time when I can finally wear my new tights and coats and frolic in the rain. So I give you Three days in Boston in the Fall!

I'm currently studying for a piano exam tomorrow!

September 20, 2008

I sewed, I shopped, I sleep-ed

So here is a few pictures of the last few things I've bought/ sewn/ bought then fixed. I'll narrate along.


Love this dress! It fits like a glove, and is so incredibly cute on. Found it at Goodwill. It used to be much longer and hit me at about the middle of my calf, which is a horrible length on me, so I cut it to right above my knee! I still have to hem it, but am out of navy thread. I can't wait to wear it! Originally there was two red loops at the waist which was obviously for a red belt, so I'll be on the lookout for a wide red belt to wear with it.

I also bought an adorable red shirt but it's in the wash as I wore it yesterday and forgot to take pictures! So that will come soon. But just know that I love that shirt and want it in every colour!
Yesterday I went to the Salvation Army store by the mall. I found a skirt, but decided against it at the last minuet. Mostly because I was fairly certain I would never wear it ever, but I did leave with these beauties ( are you ready Sarah and Charissa??) for a quarter each
I actually bought this for my mom, who was in love with Shaun Cassidy when she was younger( she even got one of those life size poster cut outs of him for a birthday). She laughed, listened, laughed some more, knew all the words, then I took it back.
I've always loved the Doors and was sooooo excited to find this baby in perfect condition! yay!
This I bought a while ago, but whatever. Another of my favourites.
And this is the picture on the sleeve. Love it!
Y'know how people say things like, "oh for the love of Pete?" Well when I was little all I listened to was oldies on a local radio station that played stuff from the 50's-early 70's. And one day I heard The names of Peter, Paul and Mary. So I started saying "Oh for the love of Peter, Paul, and Mary." and I still do. So I had to buy this lovely little album.
I actually really do love Peter, Paul, and Mary, and I love her Chelsea Boots in that picture!
And now for the ultimate find! I almost screamed when I saw this. And for 25 cents!!!!! I present you with this:
I KNOW! It's in really good condition too! Here's a question: Why is George Harrison the only one not in a suite? Don't get me wrong, I love the flared jeans and matching denim shirt, but I just wonder if maybe he forgot that they'd all agreeed to wear a suite for the picture. Or maybe he was going to wear a suite, but he only had one with him, and he had to send it to the cleaners, but then there was the terrible fire and the cleaners burnt to the ground along with George's suite, thus he had to wear whatever he had that was clean. I'm sure that's probably the answer.
Regardless of George and his clothing, I love the album! And here's what I've been listening to them on all day, My lovely record player:
There it is playing ABBA.
Okay here's the last item to show you. Remember the red polka dot shirt? Well finally here it is!
I royally screwed up the armholes, but not enough that you would notice unless you were standing there to judge my armholes. and I have since had to fix the elastic on the bottom, but I love it anyways! And here's my next project:
Mine will be Fushia with lime green and white polka dot trim and pocket. Much cuter than it sounds!
Alright well I'm off to finish moving into my new room.

Of Farrets and Ho-glands

It's crazy to realize that the friends you've always had right by your side, are no longer a fifteen minuet drive away. It's crazy to realize how quickly we all grew up. And it's crazy to realize how much you love those friends no matter what through thick and thin, because you are a sisterhood that has been 16 years in the making and you know everyone's secrets, and desires, you've been the shoulder to cry on and occasionally the one crying. And you know that friendships like this don't come along very often, and you are four very luucky girls, who will always be best friends no matter what, because blood is thicker than water and you are my sisters. So this one's for Bri, Charissa, and Sarah! I love you guys more than word could ever say!

So here's a little tribute to the Sisterhood of the Farrets and Ho-glands!


Some time ago:






and now:


Here's to the next 16 years!

September 15, 2008

Tri laethanta i Baile Atha Cliath

No I am not a member of the same alien society as Anne Hache. That is Gaelic. Gaelic? you say. Yes Gaelic. The language of the celts (kelts folks! not selts). Why am I writing in Gaelic you ask? Well in honor of the fact that I AM GOING TO IRELAND IN JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know! I'm going on tour with RCC chamber Singers and we're going to Ireland and Wales for two weeks! We're going to be competing in a choral competition in Wales, but we're going to Ireland for a week before that to go do other gigs. What perfect timing! And OMG Topshop they have Topshops!!!!!! So in honor of the obsession of my mind for the next 8 months, here is Three days in Dublin, or Tri laethanta i Baile Atha Cliath (and no joke, I'm already working on my wardrobe for the trip):

Oh and I fully plan on having a wild romance with a guy who has a beard, a kilt, a banjo, and a swoonworthy voice. Just so y'know.

Hello Dublin, I love you. If I could marry a city, you'd be the city I'd marry. Then I'd marry these boots.

You can't go to Ireland and not wear green!

This totally reminds me of LuLu in To Sir With Love. I do love me some LuLu.

Okay that's all. Tomorrow I'll have pictures of my new purchases, and sewing.


September 6, 2008

Why I try not to converse with nine year olds


This is Fraser. He is my youngest brother. He will be nine on Friday. Here is the converstation we just had:

F: Hey um, Ash....

A: Yes Fraser?

F: So I think I'm maturing. Or just getting smarter. [begins to put on my newish sandals] Because usually when i do something stupid...

A: like wear my shoes?

F: haha. yeah it's just something I do. But I was getting dressed and as I grabbed my shirt I was thinking I needed a shower, and I thought I should take a shower when we get home from the beach tomorrow. But then I thought it's going to be late, so Hey! I'll take a shower the next day.

A: wow. I guess you are maturing.

[Fraser leaves. Ashley changes into her pajamas. Five minutes pass. Fraser enters Ashley's room, arms folded.]

F: well I guess I'm actually getting stupider. I just told mom and dad that I was going to shower the day after tomorrow, and they actually said they actually think it would be smart to shower tomorrow! Humpf! [laughs the laugh you laugh when someone tells you something utterly reddiculous that ends up being true and shakes head, and walks to his bedroom.]

Yes that is my brother Fraser.

If you noticed the change of heading picture congrats! You won the honor of reading my blog in the fall or fallish season.

Oh and there will be no TDI tomorrow. I've had a busy week and didn't get a chance to prepare for TDI. But next week there will be either a double feature of SDI(Six days in the City) to make up for it.

Oh and I have just finished a shirt! My first fully finished, I didn't try and shoot myself while making this, excpet for when putting in the lace that I ran out of, shirt! It's out of the red polka dot fabric, and while it's not perfect, it's pretty dangd cute! Hopefully that will be up by Monday. I also have a very cute dress in mind out of some vintage light blue corderoy and some recycled red buttons! So yay!

September 3, 2008

My Emotional cup overflowed-eth: all before noon.

Y'know those days when you have so much going on in your head, you just don't know how to sort it out, or what it is you are really feeling? When you just want to cry to feel better, or at least lighter, but you can't because you don't really know what to cry about? When the world is just zooming by you and you are just standing there watching the blur of everyone else's life wondering why you're just standing there? And then you hear the song that reminds you of him and you just want to play it over and over and cry. But then Coldplay come on and you feel intoxicated by the sound of the strings playing and it reminds you of something else? And you wonder why you do stupid and silly things? And you realize that you are far more capable than you think, and far more intelligent that you give yourself credit? And you feel so incredibly bored with it all? And then you think about the place you want to go back to the most? And you just want it to be quiet? And you really regret that you had a candy bar in the afternoon? And you wish somethings didn't change, or that they changed at the same rate? And then you think you might cry and one tear rolls, but then nothing? And so you put on the most gloomy music you can think of and wish it would rain and clear your mind? And then you bank is a punk ass? And you feel like nothing you do is ever going to be good enough, and you just wait to hear that one person say..... so many things? And you can feel tension in the air, but you don't know who it is pulling the other end or if you really are too keen on going their way? But then you wonder if their way is all that bad, but you keep on fighting? and just when you're about to finally lose it completely you hear this little voice say..... so many things you need to hear, and it tells you it's all going to be okay. That everything will work out as long as you work hard. And that you are going to do all the things you want to if you put your mind to them, and that no matter what it will always love you, and you'll heal, and money will work itself out so don't stress, and school is just a hoop we have to jump through, and you'll be fine, and change is inevitable, and good, and that your hair is really quite FEE-nominal in all honesty, and that you have got some of the prettiest grey eyes ever, and please smile for me, because you have one killer smile even if your upper lip is flat, and no plumping stuff will work. And then you realize how blessed you are, and how things really aren't all that bad, you just have to take it in stride and handle one problem at a time. So you put on a smile and wash your face and lay your head down in you bed, early, and dream of that little voice and the face it belongs to: they mystery man on the end of the tension rope..... Or at least you hope.
That was my day. In a nut shell. I being the nut.
I probably won't post again till Sunday, I've got homework and stuff to do.
So goodnight, and sweet dreams, sing to me Chris Martin.

September 2, 2008

The one where I go back to school

Dear readers I would love to say that my entire morning was a blast, a peachy keen, lilly white, wonder of a morning. I'd like to. But it was not all lovely reuniting, and note taking. See RCC is a community College. Which means that the parking lots will be full for the next three weeks, then a quarter of the people will drop, then there will be some parking, but not quite enough. so then sometime around midterms another quarter will drop. at this point parking will not be an issue at all. then right before finals another quarter will drop and it will be parking heaven. Now I usually take classes at 7am. which is dumb. you just can't learn at the hour, especially if you have flipping chatterjee for a professor. so this semester I have classes that start at 8:10, and 8:45 every day of the week. It alternates. anyhoodles. I was trying to find a parking spot at 8:24 this morning for a class that starts at 8:45. I found a parking spot.... at 9am. yup. I was soooooo mad! so then I got to my class and it was great and grand, and lovely, as was my second class. So all in all it was a very nice first day, save the parking incident. So that's it. that was my day thus far. I'm pooped, and don't really want to work, but alas.... BTW I am really hoping my new sewing machine gets here soon. I have so many projects I want to do...
Love and Tootles

September 1, 2008

Three days...

Today is Labor day, which means that I have the day off, and that I start school tomorrow(bleh). So in Honor of the end of summer, (even if the weather is going to be in the 90's all week) here for TDI (yes I know it's late again, but don't hate me) is Three Days on a Road Trip. Enjoy:

I look like a doof in RayBans, but they are very cool, and I almost bought that bag, but did not due to my "I'm not spending anymore money on things I don't really need" pledge. This reminds me of pictures of road trips people took going down Route 66, which by the by part of it is located in San Bernardino, the next county over from Riverside, and is in the ghetto. So Yay.

I finally bought me a pair of white heart glasses. yay!

If you could marry a colour, I would marry orange.
That's all for now, dears, so tootles