September 29, 2008
I got in an accident today. My car, Greta, is totaled. I have a cut on the back of my head, and a really nasty seatbelt briuse on my stomach and shoulder, and chest, and a big cut on my left shoulder from when the glass shattered. The cut ruined my shirt. My back bumper flew off and across the street, my car spun around to face the opposite way. My sunlasses flew into the street through the window. I was hit by another newer volvo. I thought I had died for about 15 seconds. I was sure of it. Your life doesn't flash before your eyes. It's all the people you love, that you don't tell enough. I saw some funny people, my grandparents, my parents, my siblings, Sarah, and Charissa, all the kids I am starting to make friends with, and a boy. I had so many epiphanies in 15 seconds it's not even funny. My life could have ended if the other car had hit me two feet closer. I've never seen my mom cry like that. Or my dad. I have the most incredibly amazing family. I'm still shaken, still shocked.
I don't tell those people that I love them enough. They may know it, but I don't say it enough. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of them. And I don't think I've ever been this thankful for them all. My mom, who's first reaction was "are you okay?" as she threw her arms around me while I cried like a moron. My dad who's first reaction was "one question, are you alright?" as he pulled me into a huge hug, while I cried like a moron. My sister Bri, who was waiting at the door, hugged me and asked if I was okay. Chelsea, who was waiting at the door and asked if I was alright. Gracie who told me not to cry, becaue I will get better, then when she saw the car said "Ashee the volvo is broken." and when I told her I broke it she said "it's okay, you be careful next time." My sister Delaney, who stopped doing her homework to get me a cup of coffee and hug me and rub my back. For Fraser, who came in wanting to know all the details then telling me that when Bri first wakes up she sounds like she's "speaking in Myan or something" and making laugh hysterically and not think about it. Eric who gave me a hug, and grossed out at my bruise and asked if I needed some water. Bri pulled all my beloved bumper stickers off the bumper so I could save them. I called my chior director to let him know I wouldn't be in class today and he asked if I was okay, and if my throat was okay. Only a singer would know the importance of that, but it was really wonderful.
I woke up having a pity party with myself. There's alot of things I've been thinking about, silly things, things I've finly realized and am sad over. But today as I sat in my car watching that lady fly towards me everything stopped. I thought I was going to die. Not like OMG I was going to die. Like I Wish I hadn't yelled at Fraser for sneaking into sleep in my room, and I love them all so much, and I sure hope they all know that when I'm gone, going to die. I wasn't scared. I knew I'd be in heaven, and I knew my family could handle it. I knew my friends could handle it. But then I thought about all the dreams I'd had, that I gave up on, or let die, because it is just little old me, and who cares. What about the children I wanted to have someday, or the man I am going to marry. Or the career I want to have. Or all the things I've always wanted to do? What about all that? And whether it was God pushing me back into this world, or a halucination from the cut on my head, But something made me come back to reality. I emideatly figured out how to get out of the car and found someone to let me use their phone, called my parents. The lady who hit me called the cops. I started thinking about all the crap that this is going to bring. Me wih no car, insurance rates sky rocketing, No sisterhood day, No doing this or that, How am I going to get Bri to school in the morning? My head was overflowing with all the horrible things that are to come. Whene I finally got home, which was only about three blocks away, I sat down and realized everything that had happened. I'm alive, by the Grace of God I'm alive. If I hadn't sped up, If I hadn't tried to swerve... I wouldn't be here to tell you this. But I am. And no one else got hurt, my cuts and bruises will heal, I didn't even need stitches. My professors understand. Everything is fine. Yeah I have no car, but I'm fine. and y'know what, there's a 30% chance of rain today!
My point is that, I'm not done here. I still haven't fulfilled my perpous on this planet. I'm not done. Who knows what I can accomplish. I've always had a respect for life, but now.. I don't know what it is, but somethings changed. I guess that near death experiences do this to you. they make you love and apprecate life and all it's blessings. I mean I drove a whole full load of kids down from Big Bear yesterday in that car. what if that had happened then. But it didn't. It happened just to me, and I'm okay. I just discoverd another cut and bruise. But it's just cuts and bruises. My God I am so thankful for this life! I just want to tell everyone That I love them! I want to go do so much, see so many things. I just want to live my life the way God intended, not feeling sorry for myself. I want to love and be loved, and I don't ever want to look back. I want to know that I've done my best, and did all that i could. I want to sing all ver the world, and drag my 10 kids around with me while I do it. I want a husband I can love, trust and respect, and who returns all those. I want my friends to know that they are loved and missed and I only want the best for them ever! But mostly I am just so thankful to be here, writing this, telling you all how thankful I am, Sitting at a computer, breathing, crying shaking, laughing, singing, screaming, worrying. I'm even thankful for living in Riverside, when on September 29th it's 93 degrees. I really don't have any more words I can say, or type. Just that I am so thankful...
It was one of those days
Now if only I could figure you out...
September 28, 2008
I would really love it if someone bought me Hunter Wellies for Christmas. Especially if they are red, green, or yellow. Now normally I'm not a denim mini skirt girl, but for the long drive up there tights and a comfy denim skirt would be just lovely, and man I love that hat.
I love to mix pretty things with un-pretty things. A better way of saying that, is that I love contrast in outfits, a very cute dress, coat, a blouse, with rugged boots, and fringe bags. I call it Dainty Dirt. Mostly I just want to live in tights and boots.
The Penultimate Ashley colour pallet! If there was some orange, avacodo green and red we'd be in buisness. How cozy does that coat look? I think this would be quite a lovely outfit for walking in the woods, or roasting marshmellows, or other cabin/mountain/woodsy things.
Well there you have it! I hope everyone's weekend was marvvy! I'll post all about my weekend as soon as I can!
September 27, 2008
2. They all spent the three hour break sleeping and recovering from their hangovers and you spend the three hour break sleeping because you couldn't sleep with all the drunk people the night before.
3. They describe parts of the song as being an "incredible orgasm".
4. The bunk next and above you is being shared by a guy and a girl(the horn-dog guy and fresh meat girl).
5. Random moments of song break out from nowhere.
6. we have to have a talentless talent show because we actually have a talent.
7. As a fun activity we try to find new harmonies for songs, or take pop songs and turn them into choral peices.
8. no one passed 8th grade math.
9. Non musicians would think we are crazy if they heard us crack up laughing when we mess up because only musicians know it.
10. Your Choral Director askes you to sing one of your peices , then asks you to change the style to pop, then rock, then country, then musical theatre, and everyone laughs at the untechnicalness and hi-lariousness of the sound, and you realize: you're all a bunch of dorks. And that despite the vomit stench, you haven't had such a horrible time.
Love, and Peace, and Tootles
September 21, 2008
I'm currently studying for a piano exam tomorrow!
September 20, 2008
Love this dress! It fits like a glove, and is so incredibly cute on. Found it at Goodwill. It used to be much longer and hit me at about the middle of my calf, which is a horrible length on me, so I cut it to right above my knee! I still have to hem it, but am out of navy thread. I can't wait to wear it! Originally there was two red loops at the waist which was obviously for a red belt, so I'll be on the lookout for a wide red belt to wear with it.
It's crazy to realize that the friends you've always had right by your side, are no longer a fifteen minuet drive away. It's crazy to realize how quickly we all grew up. And it's crazy to realize how much you love those friends no matter what through thick and thin, because you are a sisterhood that has been 16 years in the making and you know everyone's secrets, and desires, you've been the shoulder to cry on and occasionally the one crying. And you know that friendships like this don't come along very often, and you are four very luucky girls, who will always be best friends no matter what, because blood is thicker than water and you are my sisters. So this one's for Bri, Charissa, and Sarah! I love you guys more than word could ever say!
September 15, 2008
Oh and I fully plan on having a wild romance with a guy who has a beard, a kilt, a banjo, and a swoonworthy voice. Just so y'know.
Hello Dublin, I love you. If I could marry a city, you'd be the city I'd marry. Then I'd marry these boots.
You can't go to Ireland and not wear green!
This totally reminds me of LuLu in To Sir With Love. I do love me some LuLu.
Okay that's all. Tomorrow I'll have pictures of my new purchases, and sewing.
September 6, 2008
This is Fraser. He is my youngest brother. He will be nine on Friday. Here is the converstation we just had:
F: Hey um, Ash....
A: Yes Fraser?
F: So I think I'm maturing. Or just getting smarter. [begins to put on my newish sandals] Because usually when i do something stupid...
A: like wear my shoes?
F: haha. yeah it's just something I do. But I was getting dressed and as I grabbed my shirt I was thinking I needed a shower, and I thought I should take a shower when we get home from the beach tomorrow. But then I thought it's going to be late, so Hey! I'll take a shower the next day.
A: wow. I guess you are maturing.
[Fraser leaves. Ashley changes into her pajamas. Five minutes pass. Fraser enters Ashley's room, arms folded.]
F: well I guess I'm actually getting stupider. I just told mom and dad that I was going to shower the day after tomorrow, and they actually said they actually think it would be smart to shower tomorrow! Humpf! [laughs the laugh you laugh when someone tells you something utterly reddiculous that ends up being true and shakes head, and walks to his bedroom.]
Yes that is my brother Fraser.
If you noticed the change of heading picture congrats! You won the honor of reading my blog in the fall or fallish season.
Oh and there will be no TDI tomorrow. I've had a busy week and didn't get a chance to prepare for TDI. But next week there will be either a double feature of SDI(Six days in the City) to make up for it.
Oh and I have just finished a shirt! My first fully finished, I didn't try and shoot myself while making this, excpet for when putting in the lace that I ran out of, shirt! It's out of the red polka dot fabric, and while it's not perfect, it's pretty dangd cute! Hopefully that will be up by Monday. I also have a very cute dress in mind out of some vintage light blue corderoy and some recycled red buttons! So yay!
September 3, 2008
September 2, 2008
September 1, 2008
Today is Labor day, which means that I have the day off, and that I start school tomorrow(bleh). So in Honor of the end of summer, (even if the weather is going to be in the 90's all week) here for TDI (yes I know it's late again, but don't hate me) is Three Days on a Road Trip. Enjoy: