September 30, 2009

Laughing (at other's expense)

(Bri's Bachelorette Party. I had to do Charissa's makeup blind-folded, then I got to observe my work.)

Whenever I'm having a bad day and start to have a pity party, I like to laugh at other people. It may sound horrible, but let's face it, there are some frigging weirdo's in the world, and I like to think that their purpose in life is to make people like me laugh on a bad day.
So if you are having a bad day, or just need a laugh, or just want to kill a few hours at work here are my four best sources of "other people are weird" entertainment.

It's all in the title.

Dude. Stop. My ears, eyes, nose, and beard are bleeding. (Please watch King Tut and the Pyramids, and My Big Fat Greek Pan. And you have to watch the trilogy of genius Merlin the Wizard (linked) , and Ricky Tic's Laugh In. Instant cure for the blues)

This site is dedicated to fashion flops, faux-pas, and fiascoes. This is my friend Jill's site. One day I ran into Jill at Disneyland and she showed me "the picture." Thus the Thumper Awards were born. Plus they are having a super cool Giveaway right now with many ways to enter. Plus Jill is freaking hilarious. Be sure to go through the archives and read the story behind the name. It's pretty great.

I'm sure most of you already know this site, but by golly, it is pretty awesome.

Have fun laughing!

September 29, 2009

Style Definition

I hate the question. Y'know the one I mean. "How would you describe your style?" I hate it.
But sometimes it's an important question to ask yourself. If someone came up to you and said "the world will end in three minutes if you don't accurately describe your style" what would you reply. In my case the world would probably end. I have a really hard time with this question. Part of the problem is that I don't really dress the way I want to. Don't get me wrong I love alot of my clothes, but not all of them. Part of the problem is that I'm not where I want to be with my weight loss (note to weight loss: if you would like to come off quicker I give you full permission. thanks), and also the kind of clothes I like are either not easily available here or are highly impractical (I'm looking at you weather). The other problem is that I love alot of different styles. I mean I really do love alot. I love seeing those girls who are incredibly authentically 40's or 50's or 60's, or, modern flapper, or depression era glamour, or hippie/bohemian carefree, or feminine trendy, or just out there bonkers. I love it all. I want to wear it all. But that just looks like a jumbled mess. So I started going through pictures I've taken of myself and inspiration photos I've saved. I went through and found the links between them. What did they have in common? What was the best descriptive word for my favourite elements? So I went through found them all and suddenly I knew what MY style was. I knew why my closet looked like a jumble sometimes. I knew what things made me happy in an outfit. And thus this look was born:

Vest- ?, Shirt- Thrifted, Skirt- Thrifted,
Tights- Target, Shoes- Ancestor Vintage

Guys my style is Virginia Woolf, meets an Irish School Girl, meets Audrey Hepburn, meets Audrey Tatou, meets A Lumberjack. And I kinda like it. Of course when you finally have a definition suddenly your wardrobe comes alive. I'm excited for future shopping trips now.

Oh and don't ever google Irish school girl. You'll thank me.
How do you define your style? What clothing elements make you happiest?

September 28, 2009

Monday Inspiration #23: Quilt while you're ahead (I'm so sorry)

I am making myself a quilt. I wrote up a very long explanation for why I am making a quilt, then realized it didn't matter. You're welcome. I'm re-doing my bedroom and to go along with it, I am going to make a quilt. I have never made a quilt, but I am going to do it, and it will be an awesome quilt. I'm even thinking about tea dying all my fabric to make it look antiqued. There is something very charming about snuggling up under a giant, old quilt. I'm very excited about this process! So here's a few of the photos I've been looking at for inspiration.

My quilt will not look like this one (^)

My quilt will probably look like this one (minus the purple)(^)

I love the fan printed one on top, but really love the big on on the bottom. I've not seen a pattern like that before.

September 25, 2009

A Fall Read

Do you remember the first time you read Little Women? I do. I remember reading it when I was eleven. I would stay up until my mom made me turn out the lights, then I'd pull the flashlight I'd stashed out from under my pillow and continue to read. My mom has a really beautiful vintage set of Louise May Alcott books that mildewed once I read them from all my tears. Everyone always identifies with Jo, but me, well I could see myself in all four of the girls. I had Amy's desired nose and love of dramatics, Beth's love of music and occasionally her sweet soul, Meg's pampered laziness, and of course, Jo's devil-may-care attitude and love of writing. I think this made the book sweeter for me because when each sister came to an event in their life I felt for them all. Reading this book began a long love affair with the works of Louise May Alcott, one that continues today. So am I telling you to re-read Little Women? Well you're free to, but I'm actually not here to talk about this particular book at all. See soon after discovering Louisa May Alcott I began to try and find lesser known works by her. And one Christmas it happened. My parents gave me The Book. This book, my dear friends, is not only my guide book to life, but also a rather creepy tale of "my" kind of girl. And for this reason my heart will forever belong to An Old Fashioned Girl.

Polly Milton loves music, old things, pretty, but simple frocks, her wild brown curls, books, a good sled ride, peanuts, a being a little girl. All at age 14. Her Best friend Fanny is 16 and far more concerned with "men", and parties and Bronze Boots. So when Polly comes for a long visit to Posh Boston, her "countrified" ways are not looked well upon. Except for by Grandma, Fanny's grandmother, who takes a keen liking to Polly and her "old fashioned ways", and to some extent Tom, Fanny's "bear" of a brother. But even the huge and uncomfortable contrast in their lives does not dampen Polly's influence on the family, and she manages to bring some sunshine to a rather gloomy lot.

Well at least that's the beginning of the book.

I love this book. In the end all the bases have been covered and it leaves no stone un-turned. All your questions are answered in a very pleasing way. The love story that is essentially the core of the story begins almost from page one and carries through to the very end, and you can watch it as it sprouts, buds, blossoms, and grows. And while the author makes it very clear that Polly is by no means the ideal girl, she is in her own right a role model, especially for me.

It's hard to say why I love this book so much. I've never cried so many times, nor felt my heart filled with such utter disparaging, deep, passionate, frustrating love. I've never hoped so much, or laughed so hard. The book doesn't just tell about how a rich family is put in their place by a poor little girl, no it tells the story of how a poor little girl never wants because she has learned how to be happy with life. Polly is happy. She is independent, resourceful, intelligent, pretty, talented, and refuses to be crushed by anything, even when she has good reason to be crushed. Her story is not merely heart warming and charming. It's the story of life, the kind of life worth living. I also love that the characters change. By the end of the story they aren't who they were at the beginning, they are changed by the way life hits them, some for the better some for worse. They all grow, grow-up, and face real life issues. They don't hide from life, but go out and live it. They learn who they are, and who they are not. Their relationships change, as they themselves change, and they each have to face these changes and how these changes affect the individual and the friendships.

I first read this book as a 14 year old girl, who secretly still played with dolls. Then I was young Polly's age, and I looked at life through the eyes of a little girl, much like Polly. The second half of the book follows Polly as a young twenty something. I have read this book probably a hundred times and now as I re-read it again, I relate to my dear Polly even more so now, because I read it through the eyes of a young woman much like Polly. I really don't mean to sound so poetic and silly, but I can't help it. If your read this book, I think you will find a very good idea of how I approach life, that's how much I have been shaped by this story.

I could go on for hours about my love of this story, about the clever turns of phrase, about the far too realistic depiction of just how evil females can me, but I think that the best summary of this book was given by the author, our dear Miss Alcott. So if you are interested in a very good read and I have done nothing to convince you of how wonderful this book is, then hopefully this will convince you:

"The "Old-Fashioned Girl" is not intended as a perfect model, but as a possible improvement upon the Girl of the Period, who seems sorrowfully ignorant or ashamed of the good old fashions which make women truly beautiful and honoured and, through her, render home what is should be-a happy place where parents and children, brothers and sisters, learn to love, and know and help one another."

September 22, 2009

In which I complain about the weather and present a fall project.

Wool Sweater- Macy's last Christmas, Necklace- self made, Bag- Vintage Dooney and Bourke
Skirt- vintage, Tights- Target, Shoes- Target
Oops! I meant to post this yesterday, but for some reason it didn't get posted! The above is what I wore on Monday. Needless to say I was hot all day. This heat is making me seriously think about booking a flight to Alaska for the next two weeks. We're supposed to have temps in the low-mid hundreds until next Saturday when it will cool down to 89. I just checked the weather for next week in Portland and it is supposed to be in the low 70s-mid 60's and there are three days of rain. Maybe I'll fly up there, cuz I can't take much more of this. Anything above 75 and I start to feel claustrophobic and suffocated, so I'm sure you can imagine how much I am suffering in this heat wave (you should read that in a very dramatic voice with the back of your hand against your forehead).

I have two and a half laundry baskets full of projects that are buried under a pile of things my sister still hasn't moved out. So I started a new one! I thought it would be appropriate for a Fall Week post. This is my absolute favourite sweater (ignore ugly outfit. This is my I'm-doing-laundry-because-nothing-else-is-clean outfit. Also I am part mole thus the sun makes me sneeze and cringe). It is something I picked up in a Goodwill last year and has become a staple ever since. It goes with everything, is warm, but not too warm, comfy, and it has pockets. Perfect sweater right? Well I brought it to my sister's wedding and somehow during the weekend one of the buttons broke. It actually split in half making it impossible to button up. If I used emoticons I would make a sad face. So I went to go through my mom's stash of buttons to find a similar one to the other non-descript brown buttons. Apparently my mother doesn't believe in having non-descript brown buttons. So I decided to just put new buttons on it.

Then I was looking through pictures on my computer and found this one and was thus inspired to use mismatched buttons on my lovely sweater.

So I clipped off the old ones and chose out buttons in corresponding sizes and sewed them back on. And this is the finished product! I quite love it! It was very simple and I did it while watching a movie (Harold and Maude which I had never seen and can now say that I absolutely LOVE!), plus it was a great way to spruce it up. Now if only it was cold enough that I could only wear the darn thing! Oh and sorry for the ruddy photos. I took them in my very poorly lit living room Tuesday night and haven't had a chance to re-take them.

Also Sarah of Oh Kirby! is having a Giveaway! She is giving away this charming little hat, and all you have to do is comment! Good Luck!

An Apple (or six) A Day

So today's featured "Thing I love about Fall that I don't usually get to enjoy until it's nearly over" is baking. I love to bake. I love food. I love aprons, and making messes (not so keen on the cleaning up of said messes), and experimenting with new ingredients. Even on a hot day I enjoy cooking. When I was six my mom made me enter a cooking contest at a fair. She'd bought me a cookbook for my sixth birthday and I had been bugging her to let me cook. so she let me enter this contest and pick out a thing to cook from my cookbook. I made an Apple Crisp. I won First Prize. I still brag about this. Not because I am arrogant and can't move past age six, but because folks, it doesn't get better than this. I have become quite a Apple Crisp connoisseur and let me tell you, mine beats them all hands down. It's a good old-fashioned American treat. None of this gourmet stuff, or pre made-pop-it-in-the-oven crap, this is real, non processed, yummy goodness. I have never shared this recipe with anyone. Until today.

Over the years I have made probably 1000 of these things and no one has ever not liked it. This has become a staple for my family at Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and gives me a reason to go to Oak Glen (Post about Oak Glen to follow) and get fresh apples. When I was ten a fifteen year old boy proposed to me after eating it at a church event. It is that good. And now fifteen year olds can propose to you. You can thank me later. I give you:

Ashley's First Prize Apple Crisp
You will need:
Butter or margarine
3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon (I add a whole teaspoon)
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg (I add a whole teaspoon)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup melted butter or margarine
6 (or more) cooking apples
Pre heat the oven to 400. Peel and core apples. I use one of those table attachments that slice, peel, and core all at once. If you are without one of these quarter the apples and cut each quarter into slices. they can be as big or small as you want. Once they have all been cut place the apples in a casserole dish greased with butter or margarine. Set to the side. Mix the flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in a mixing bowl. I find mixing with my hands works best for this. Pour melted butter into mixture and mix until you have a crumbly topping. It should look like the top of a Dutch Apple Pie. Once you have this mixed, crumble it over top the apples. Sometimes I double the topping and give it a thick cover, but otherwise just sprinkle the topping until it's all gone. Bake for 35 minutes or until the apples are tender and the topping is brown. Best when served warm (though it tastes just as yummy the next morning after it's been in the fridge ;-))
Top with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a cinnamon stick.
Grab a cup of coffee
Commence letter to me dripping with gratitude.

For more fall baking you might like Sarah's recipe for Molasses Cookies. I haven't yet tried these, but being a fan of molasses I am excited to break out my aprons and get cooking!

Also, do you guys (the five of you who read) like seeing recipes on here? I've been thinking of posting some for a while (you would probably be surprised by the vastness of my cooking ability), but I keep second guessing the idea. So waddaya think? Should I post a recipe every now and then?

I'm off to Disneyland today! Enjoy your Apple Crisp!

September 21, 2009

Monday Inpiration # 22: Fall Week

Happy First day of Autumn!

It is going to be 110 today!

I am boycotting California this week. I am ignoring the fact that Wednesday is supposed to be 112, and I am celebrating Fall. Welcome to Fall Week- like Shark Week, but without the blood.

This week I will be showcasing some of my favourite things about Fall, and why it kicks Summer's sweaty, tanned ass. Pardon my French. Recipes, Clothes, Movies, Books, and all things Fall, will be making an appearance. I'm tired of summer, and even if I have to put my A/C on super cold, I will be living like it is Fall. Take that California!

Also I big shout out to Hannah S. If you are reading this Hannah, Welcome to my Blog! I'm so glad you are joining me in my rebellion against the weather. I'm like the Luke Skywalker of Seasons.

I know I already posted a Monday Inspiration on Fall, so I thought that this week I will feature one of my favourite articles of fall clothing:

TIGHTS!!! I love tights! They come in colours, patterns, prints, and textures, protect our legs from being too chilled, and can make a boring outfit seem interesting. Whether you go with traditional black, or a wild print they always add a wonderful touch to any ensemble!
(Click to enlarge)
Photos (from the archives of): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

September 18, 2009

The 3 AM Muse

Blouse- Old Navy Hand me down from mom,
Belt- Ancient Torrid,
Skirt- Thrifted,

So I have not been the best musician this summer. I mean I played and even performed once, but I've written a total of one (1) songs this summer. I've had great ideas for songs, but words never co-operated with me. I was beginning to fret over this pre-wedding, but in the wedding madness I didn't give a rat's hiney about my own music. Cut to Wednesday night (see what I did? I shortened my story!) and I was writing in a journal ya'll don't need to know about, and I got an idea for a non rhyming song. So I wrote it. It's not great, but it's pretty good. So then Thursday morning I was in the shower and suddenly a couple of lines popped in my head mid hair wash. So I continued to develop it as I showered and dressed. By the time I got in the car I'd written the whole first verse and chorus. I brought paper with me to work to write it all down. So then I worked on it some more Last night, and finished it right before bed. It's one of those "this is really about me, but I am pretending it's about someone else" songs. It's actually very good.

I haven't been sleeping the greatest lately. Not weird dream bad sleep, just general restlessness, and waking up more tired than when I went to bed. So last night When I was getting ready for bed I was thinking about something someone said about John Hughes when he died. This lady said that John Hughes films gave her hope as a teenager, because the weirdos always came out on top, the strange girl always got the guy, and the dork, always became cool- even if only in the eyes of the other dorks. I think this is also why I always loved his movies. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is My movie. It is just perfect. I was still thinking about this as I went to bed, and fell asleep, and then at I woke up flipped on the light and wrote the first half of a song about high school.

It's mostly brilliant. I kept reading over it thinking that there was no way I just wrote this, but I did. Some of the most brilliant rhyming I've ever done is in this song. It needs work, but it's really, really good right now. So I am excited and just a little annoyed with the fact that all of my best songs seem to be the ones that are written at 3am.

In other news I have a lot on my mind and it's all very confusing and annoying, So I am off to Disneyland to try and de-clutter my brain. Have a very lovely weekend!

September 16, 2009

Tractor Porn (I am asking for weirdos to find my blog)

Last Monday was the 65th Annual Norco Valley Fair. Norco is a little town west of Riverside, that no one cares about. If you live there you are probably a hick, drunk, or a "redneck Woman, hell ya." The entire area around Norco smells of dung, there is almost no grass, and you are guaranteed to see someone sitting in a beach chair on their porch, beer in hand, dead trucks in the drive way, and one of the said dead trucks engines hanging from a tree as a make shift tire swing.

And it really is as bad as that.

So Fraser joined 4H this year and had his dog show last Monday. The good news is he got second place in behaviour. The bad news is it was incredibly boring, dirty, smelly, and long. Who want to see dogs walk in a circle at eight am? Not me.

But there was a dead tractor, so Bri and I amused ourselves. I also took nearly 200 pictures.

Delaney and Eric got recruited to be "posts" for the dogs to do figure eights around. My mom played dress up with Fraser's uniform much to my dad and Michael's chagrin.

Tractor Porn. Outfit: Blouse- vintage,
dress-cheapy boutique in Rancho Cucamonga,
Shoes- target

This years theme was "Blue Jeans and Country Dreams." Fraser and his ribbon.
More tractor porn, WE SAW A DE LOREON!

Photographic evidence of how dirty my shoes got throughout the day.
8am, 9am, 10am, 11am

Fraser during his part of the show. He did a really good job.
Eric trying to look "sexy" on the tractor.

The best part of the day was while we were taking the pictures on the tractor. A redneck hill billy man drove by on a working tractor, turned to Bri and I and asked in his best redneck voice: "You wanna take a ride on a real tractor?"
I smiled and declined, Bri curled her lip in disgust.
We also saw the fatest pig I've ever seen in my life. This thing was huge.

And that was my adventure at the Norco Fair.
Remind me never to buy a tractor.

September 15, 2009

Swing Weddings on Fire

So yesterday I was leaving work driving up 13th street when I saw smoke coming from behind a palm tree. I stopped to see a small fire that had been started not long before I got there. There was no one around, my cell was dead, and I didn't want to ruin my cardigan because it is a vintage wool cardigan from Mexico and I kinda have a strange attachment to it. So I stopped and began to consider my options when I noticed a girl in her car in the parking lot near the flames on her cell phone. I walked over to her to make sure she was calling 911 and not a booty call. It was the former. By the time this had all transpired- maybe five to eight minutes- the fire went from being the size of a small dinner plate to engulfing the side of the palm tree, the size of a large bush. Strangest comparisons ever. Well just as I could hear the fire truck siren begin to wail (the fire dept is three blocks away) a security guard came over and ran to get an extinguisher and began to extinguish the fire. I like to think I was helpful in extinguishing the fire, but really I just stood there concerned for my cardigan. I am a very responsible citizen.

My dad left work early yesterday to go back to Oceanside to help my mom pack up stuff from the house that the wedding was at. Bri and Michael rented the house for the wedding and for the whole week for their honeymoon, but they spent their first night in a B&B in La Jolla so my mom could clean up everything. Well I didn't really want to spend more gas going there and back so i stayed behind. Not wanting to be a loser and stay home twiddling my thumbs I did something that is very strange for me: I went Swing Dancing. There is a coffee house here in town that offers free swing dance lessons on Monday nights. The lessons go from 7-8 and then from 8-11 the floor is open for anyone to dance. I've gone once or twice before and had fun, but the alarming amount of weirdos kept me from going back. Well last night I went and there were not as many weirdos as I remember and I actually had fun. Ask anyone who knows me and they will emphatically tell you how I don't dance. I don't dance. I'm horrible. I don't just have two left feet, I've got about four of them and they all are dyslexic. I'm not even kidding. I do not dance. But last night I danced. I got victimized by three different guys who were all very understanding of my horrible disability on the dance floor, all very nice, all found something to compliment to make me feel less self conscious about how many times I tripped over my own feet (not to self: do not wear pointy toed shoes next week). I bonded with a girl over shoes, Portland and Seattle, and music. I just had fun. I messed up and apologized, and felt stupid, and blushed, and did something I was terrified to do and ended up being incredibly happy I did so. I'm going to start going every Monday for two reasons. The first is that I figure it can't hurt to try to overcome my inability to dance, and the second is because my mom was freaked out that I was out until ten twenty because I have become such a homebody. We determined I am a reluctant homebody because I have no life. Awesome.

Enough of my yacking. Here's some pictures from the wedding. Sorry for the amount. I couldn't choose just a few!

September 14, 2009

The Wedding Bells have stopped

Hi, I missed you.

No really I did. I missed you all so much. I missed writing, reading, commenting, picture saving, the whole blogging package, I missed it all. That's not to say that this week was not really wonderful (post vent that is) away from blogging. Also before I go any further let me say that I got my nails done and despite the fact that I have since lopped them down to the nub of my finger, I still can't do anything with them. Excuse any typos.

The wedding was absolutely phenomenal and I only lost it once during my speech (which was probably horrible, but I haven't seen the video yet), which was really very considerate of my emotions seeing as I had to sing twice yesterday and if i start to cry before I sing, then I can't sing because my throat, nose, and eye balls are very uncooperative. I did however get to tell embarrassing stories of Bri, which kinda made my day. But everything went smoothly and there were no hiccups, or fights, or even any impoliteness (I deserve to be sainted for how much I talked to certain family members whom I cannot stand). There was a minor annoyance of certain family members who no one can stand showing up the day before FOUR HOURS EARLY and proceeded to sit on their hind quarters and dole out advice on how everything should be done leading to the best quote from the weekend which came from my rather eloquent father: "I am not going to take advice from people who offer input while sitting on their asses."

Besides being just wonderful and beautiful, it was down right fun! We danced and sang and laughed at the anti AA meeting table (how one table can go through five bottles of champagne is beyond me. I managed two glasses.), we ate good food (cheesecake factory catered), had ridiculously decadent cupcakes, rootbeer (my family is obsessed with rootbeer) and lots and lots of laughs. Everyone looked beautiful, the weather was perfect, and we even got to throw Fraser in the ocean!

On a personal note I think I should probably be granted a medal of honor for how well behaved I was when certain people whom I cannot stand, made snide comments such as "Oh Ashley you did such a good job singing. Your voice has really matured lately", and I just smiled and thanked her when I really wanted to snap back and say "oh why thanks, yeah it's amazing the difference TRAINING your voice for ELEVEN YEARS makes, as opposed to two years of high school choir and being on the choir of a college you don't actually go to. Oh plus the fact that there is more talent in my nail clippings than in your whole body, but thanks anyways", or when certain person said "oh Ash it'll be you next who gets married, unless of course it's one of my daughters, who have "long term" (read shagging buddies) relationships, and who caught the bouquet! haha!" to which I just laughed and smiled when I really wanted to say "oh you mean the sluts you raised who are sluts and slutish, and not even that nice? You mean the ones that are "taking a break" from dating their bed partners? Yeah I'm sure it'll be one of them." Sometimes I'm amazed at how well behaved I can be. And sometimes I regret, just a little, not saying nasty things back. I can play the game very well, I just choose not to.

Some of my favourite moments included when Bri and my dad did the father-daughter dance. Bri was asking my dad if he wanted to do it a couple of days ago and during the discussion she inadvertently offended him, so to make up for it, she played To Sir With Love for their dance and surprised my dad, who I think almost cried. I also got to sing Bri and Michael's first dance which was to Moon River. Somehow I ended up being put in charge of DJing most of the reception, which was quite a artfully executed move on my part so as to avoid dancing, though Sarah and I did go up and do the six Swing Dance moved we know to Johnny B. Goode.

So all in all it was a really nice weekend, and everyone had a good time- including Michael and Bri (who at one point announced to everyone that they WERE eating at their own wedding no matter what). I'll post some of the (449) pictures I took yesterday, tomorrow. I also took about a jillion outfit shots this week so as to save my sanity from going completely down the drain. Oh plus I still have the Norco Fair to regale you all with! Two words to prepare you for it: Tractor Porn.

Oh god, my blog is going to get alot of hits from google searches this week for tractor porn.

September 10, 2009

A mid week vent:


(regular posting to resume on Monday)

(if I haven't gone crazy by then.)

September 7, 2009

Monday Inspiration# 21: On the lawn of life...

I love quotes. Here for you is one of my favourite quotes that constantly inspires me:

Thanks Jill for the flamingoes!
I hope your long weekend has been lovely! Today I am off to the Norco Fair (Which I will make a point to rant about at a later date), ro watch my little brother do his 4H Dog show and to pick up his container garden which won first prize!

This is my last post for the week. Family is coming into town all this week and my sister gets married on Sunday.

I shall see you all next Monday, have a lovely week!

September 6, 2009

The Woes of Clothes

My sister "moved out" this weekend. She moved everything but the few clothes she'll need this week to her Michael's house, thus leaving me with a nearly empty room. It is by no means empty, but it is amazing how much more room there is now. Her side of the closet is nearly empty which is kind of amazing since I now suddenly have room for all my clothes. I did a small purge, getting rid of ugly grimy things. I even ironed everything (I'm not usually one for ironing, vacuuming I'll do any day, but not ironing.) So while I was washing all my laundry I washed a very pretty blouse I bought at target. It was white and I'd managed to spill something on it so I threw it in with my bleach load. This could be an incredibly long story so to make it shorter the shirt was 30% silk (since when did target sell anything with silk in it?!) and came out of the wash with blotchy brown spots. So I decided to try and fix it (before I found out it was silk) so I set it in a oxiclean bleach mixture to get out the spots and immediately the whole shirt turned the same brown colour. Jolly. So then I discovered it was silk and felt like a total ninny for not reading the care instructions and all that rot, so I decided that since I really loved that blouse I would just tea dye it. Which would have been a brilliant plan if the bleach hadn't eaten through half the fabric making the whole thing shred in my hand. The only silver lining to this whole thing is that they still have the shirt at Target and it may even be on sale now.

Moral of the story: NEVER BLEACH SILK! And read the care instructions on your clothes.

Also I am trying a little experiment for the next three months. For all of September, October, and November I shan't be buying anything, even thrifted things. Expect much sewing.

I am very excited for tomorrow's post, be sure to pop back in and have a lovely rest of your long weekend!

September 4, 2009


My mom just finished making 13 dozen cupcakes for my sister's wedding. She made about a million batches of butter cream frosting to go along (in the most heinous of colours, turquoise) and had one batch come out too runny. So Chelsea and her friend Lauren made a cake. After dinner I frosted it. Then Grace "decorated" it. The cake and frosting were very good. The "decorations" were not. But she had fun. This is my favourite of the pictures.
Sometimes Grace looks like a really cute Hobo.
Move over Annie.
I am off to watch Miss Marple and have a cup of coffee that will hopfully rid me of this horrid headache I seem to have gotten this afternoon. I think it's this bloody heat. On the upside the weather man said it will cooling down on Monday. 87 degrees.

September 3, 2009

Billy Ray Cyrus So Wants To Be Me

(Click for larger image (of the mullets not me)) As you can see, I am determined to make the best of this whole hair situation. At least now I can join a really bad 80's pop band. Also I think the positioning of my head over the other two chaps was quite genius and a complete mistake.

This morning while driving to work I had on my classical station. This story has two parts, and since my sister thinks I tell really long stories that are often disjointed and confusing I shall separate this story.

Part One: Why I Listen To Classical Music While I Drive, or How Ashley Became A Nice Driver

I really love to drive. I like abandoned roads and winding streets. I like the trees creating shade and I like the wind blowing through my open window. I find driving relaxing. I do not like other people who drive. Thus I have some of the most horrible road rage known to any person. People who think I'm wonderfully sweet and kind would be shocked to hear me when I get on the freeway or on busy streets. Part of why I get road rage is because I happen to live in California where no one knows how to drive, and I was taught to drive by my father who learned to drive in Oregon where apparently everyone knows how to drive well, just not over the speed of 45MPH. I hate it when people don't use their turn signals, are obnoxious with their horns, or cut you off just to try and get ahead. While I do not curse (much), my driving vocabulary usually consists of the words Moron, Idiot, Jackass, Asshole, Loser, Poop face, Bimbo, Dumb ass, Freaking Jerk, Effing Retard (and yes I do actually say "effing"), and other really unattractive names. I hate this about myself. I would really like to be the calm, "oh dear you cut me off, well no harm no foul" kind of driver I should be. But actually I am a monster.

Jessica had to take a quiz for traffic school a couple of weeks ago which told you if you were an angry aggressive driver or not. I am. I had the worst score of anyone, because I was "enraged" by people who do not use turn signals and make unsafe lane changes. So instead of being angered by this I decided to change this fact. That night I was driving back from somewhere and accidentally hit on the classical radio station that is programmed into my stereo. I meant to hit the one next to it, the Classic Rock and Metal station. Well they were playing one of my very favourite pieces of music, so I listened. And I didn't scream at a single person who was a stupid driver. Long story short, I now only listen to classical music when I'm driving because not only do I not yell at anyone anymore I also drive slower (thus avoiding more speeding tickets). It's actually kind of funny, because when some one does do something to make me exceptionally mad I turn up the music and it all goes away. And that is the end of story one.

Part Two: The Gold and Silver Waltz, or Why The Crap Does No One Dance Anymore?

So while listening to my station this morning There came on a waltz. It was called the Gold and Silver Waltz. I did not get the name of the composer so if anyone knows I would be much obliged. Anyways. So there I was driving down Victoria avenue and I began to wonder why no one has dances anymore. The only dancing people can do anymore is the "bump and grind" or the "Faux Lesbo" at trashy clubs, or you can go join a social dance group which instantly labels you as a "dork." I know many a people who do the later, and while 90% of them are in fact dorks, some are not. So I would like if it would become cool to waltz and foxtrot. We should bring back community dances, which would also give me a reason to wear a ballgown for once in my life. And that is the end of this story.

I am sorry for a rather uninteresting blog as of late. My sister is getting married in 10 days and life is a little crazy right now. It may or may not be a little on the silent side here over the next week and a half. I still have to make my dress. I haven't even cut it out yet.

September 2, 2009

Good day mullets

Vintage everything, except the headband and necklace which came respectively from Forever21 and Modcloth.
I apologize for the wonkiness of the photo, I took this about 30 seconds before leaving work, hence the rather attractive setting. Also no one bothered telling me that my slip was three inches too long for my dress, and since I forgot to do a mirror check, you are stuck with a peek at my lovely vintage slip.

Today was just a tip-toppity kind of day! I woke up with this feeling that nothing could phase me today and I was correct. When the drama broke out over parking at work, I ignored it all and laughed, when Jessica told me I was stupid, I ignored it all and laughed, and when a not so very bright person continually called and acted like a snotty beyotch, I ignored it all and laughed. It was just a good kind of day. I really needed it too! The last few weeks have been really hard. I've just been on pins and needles and feeling antsy and anxious. I keep stressing about silly things and things that aren't mine to stress over. So today was a very welcome. There wasn't anything in particular that made today good, it was just good, a little long, but good. And I was told by two different people on two separate occasions that in the movie of their life, I would be played by Zooey Deschanel. Cherry on top!

In other news that will probably only be amusing to Jill, who will laugh and then say something like "when are you going to learn your lesson" or "told you so" or something to that effect, I am currently sporting a near mullet. How did this come to be you ask? Well... I cut my own hair. I did what I've been doing for months and while all those times have worked out very well, this one did not. One side of my head in particular has an incredible mulletness to it. Expect to see my hair pinned back for a while.