December 31, 2008
(I'm having a horrible time remembering this year....)
I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year!
December 24, 2008
Funny story time:
December 17, 2008
I'm just sayin....
December 13, 2008
December 12, 2008
It was good. It was a choir concert. I was supposed to be in this choir, but couldn't because of all the other classes I was taking. But I promised to go to said concert when I had to drop the class. So I went to the concert. The concert was lovely. Everyone did great. There were some soprano issues, but I lived through them, and overall was very impressed and proud of the friends of mine who were in the group. I said "hi" and "great job", and did the whole congrats thing. Then I started to leave. Up walk former friend X and former friend Z. Now you should note that they were not yet former friends at this point, though I have not heard from them since I had to drop the class I was in with them.
X gives me a hug. "Hey! Ash! Wow! You look good, How are you?" I smiled feeling just slightly confused by Friend X's manner.
A:"um, I'm good. Thanks. How are you guys?" I give Z a hug. Z smiles at me very concerned.
Z:"Well we're all fine, but how are you?" I again feel confused.
A:"I'm good. Like I said. So what's new?"
X: "nothing much. So how long have you been back?"
Z: "yeah I mean last we knew you didn't know when they'd let you go."
By this time I was just staring at them.
"what are you talking about?"
Z: "well y'know... The whole thing after your accident. I don't blame you. I'd have been pretty F***ed up too."
X: "so how long have you been out?"
A: "out of what?"
X: "the hospital?"
A: "I never went to the hospital. I mean I didn't need to go. I just had some gnarly bruises and a few small cuts. no biggy."
Z: "no we know that. The other hospital?" I just stared with my mouth hanging open rather unattractively.
A:"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about."
X:"The hospital they sent you too. Y'know after your breakdown."
Okay now I know that Mr. Stupid-Ass-Douche-Bag teacher told people that I had a breakdown and had to quit the class because of it. I was well aware of this. But come to find out after he announced this it became a rumor and travelled from person to person and ended up being that I had to be institutionalized because I went nutso! No joke people. This is my life. So I ended up having to set the record straight and telling them that no I have not been institutionalized, nor do I plan on it in the near future. I have also decided that I need new friends. Because if I had heard that I had been institutionalized I would have called to find out what was going on with them, and what happened and IF IT WAS EVEN TRUE! So I left and started my drive home, feeling angry and mad, and wanting to go punch something, when I had a thought. None of this would have happened if Mr. Stupid-Ass-Douche-Bag teacher had just told people the truth, which was that I got behind in my classes and had decided that my life path just didn't include ugly matching dresses, so I decided to leave. So then, because I was too angry to go straight home, I went to Target to go buy more music to satisfy my angry pain. And when I was in Target I suddenly realized why he told people these things that led to my rumored psycoticness. He was mad that I left. Mad because he knew I was good, and possibly better than everyone else. No I'm not being cocky or arrogant. There is a fine line between confidence in your abilities and divaness, I am so not a diva. I am however incredibly, and a tad ridiculously talented. And he wanted me to be his protege. Well guess what? Eat my crap. Because I do not belong to you. I am me, and I am sure as hell going to do whatever the hell I want to do. you have NO say in my life or what I choose to do, so go deal with it. And you're jealous because unlike you, I have what it takes to make it as something, something big, someone huge. And you can just watch as I go make my life something great, while you sit in your class and wish you could be me. And that is why I am done with school. I have to be at RCC one more day and then no more. And I will be in LA and I will be amazing, and you will not, so there.
Okay so justified anger aside I have one question. How does this crap happen to me? Like for real? What did I do to the universe to make this kind of crap follow me like a magnet? I mean I do find it all slightly amusing. Who else on this planet get a rumor started about her that she's in the looney bin? Oh that would be no one but yours truly. Man I can't wait to see what kind of crap people come up with when I'm a celebrity.....
December 10, 2008
December 8, 2008
Gracie: (upon seeing Ashley return from her walk) Um you are taking me for a walk.
Ashley: (not really wanting to take grace on a walk) Um no I am not.
Gracie: Please! I want to see the houses!!
Ashley: The houses you see everyday?
Gracie: But it is gettin' late! the lights are on!
Ashley: (Realizing that Grace wants to go see xmas lights, which Ashley loves as well) Fine. Go get your shoes.
Gracie: (wearing her fuzzy pink boots) Okay! let's go!
The players begin a walk down their street pointing to the pretty lights
Gracie: I like Cwismas.
Ashley: me too! I like how cold it gets
Gracie: Oh yeah! and it's going to be soooo cold and Santa's going to come to our house and it's going to snow!
Ashley: No silly! It doesn't snow here!
Gracie: It snows in China!
Ashley: oh really?
Gracie: and we are going to China for Cwismas!!!
Ashley: oh really?
Gracie: yes! I met Santa!
Ashley: Yeah I know! Did you tell him what you want for Christmas?
Gracie: duh! I want pink stuff and a dog.
Ashley: that's it? pink stuff and a dog? nothing else?
Gracie: Hmmm (putts finger on lips and taps her chin) yes. I weally want a very lovely blue cup.
Ashley: A very lovely blue cup?
Gracie: yes. oh hold on! ( runs to sign post and holds it as she begins to kick her legs and "streatch" her arms)
Ashley: What the crap are you doing?
Gracie: I'm ex-a-sizing.
Ashley: that's it, let's go home! You're weird.
Gracie: I know. (shruggs shoulders and starts to sing santa clause is coming to town except she doesn't know the words or the tune)
Adventures with Grace. And I really love Christmas!
When I dream that you love me, You'll surely forgive;
Extend not your anger to sleep;
For in visions alone your affection can live-
I rise, and it leaves me to weep
Then Morpheus! envelope my faculties fast.
Shed o'er me your languor benign;
Should the dream of tonight but resemble the last,
what rapture celestial is mine!
They tell us that slumber, the sister of death,
Mortality's emblem is given;
To fate how I long to resign my frail breath
If this be the foretaste of Heaven!
Ah! frown not, sweet lady, unbend your soft brow,
Nor deem me to happy in this;
If I sin in my dream, I atone for it now
Thus doomed but to gaze upon bliss.
Though in visions, sweet lady, perhaps you may smile,
Oh! think not my penance deficient!
When dreams of your presence my slumbers beguile,
To awake would be torture sufficient
I just got off the phone with Amazon.com. Why was I on the phone with Amazon.com? Oh that would be because they signed me up for a shipping deal in which I get free shipping on all my purchases. The catch? I pay them 79.00$ per month for this sweet little deal.... How is it free shipping when I'm paying them money so that I can have free shipping? Don't get me wrong I love Amazon, but really? That's just not kosher.
"Why you should not drink coffee and drive in the car with my father"
"My legs look like asparagus"
"Really California? You can't be cold for more than a day?"
"Adventures in taking pictures by the pool"
"I'm either pregnant or starving myself"
"Dear Old Navy, why have you been holding out on me?"
"Reason # 365 why Rob Pattinson is my perfect man"
"My bangs are crooked, how did this happen?"
"How hard is it to remember my name is Ashley, not Amy or Amanda?"
"My return to heels"
"Yes, I do actually think you are that stupid"
"Why do people who lose loved ones take it out on Christmas?"
"Watch as Ashley eats her words about people taking losing loved ones out on Christmas"
"Wow. I am a callous bitch and I fail at life"
"Joy to the world, my computer is fried"
"Why Charlotte "Chuck" Charles is my homegirl"
"I bet I wouldn't have to make copies if I worked at Starbucks"
"I promise this post contains only one rant"
"Why tuna kicks pb&j in the ass"
"If my sister wakes up dead tomorrow, I promise it's justifiable homicide"
"Why I should not share a room with my sister # 8 million"
"Holy Crap! How is already Monday?"
"This post has a 97% chance of offending you"
"20 reasons why I'm going to hell."
"Yes I do actualy have moral standards"
"The word is pronounced AK-Tuoo-All-ee, not akshley"
So That pretty much sums up my weekend. Monday. I'm not generally a "oh I hate Mondays" kinda person. Usually I feel kinda meh about them. Whatevs, It's just a day. But today I am really not into being at work. On the plus side I look adorable!
And this is why my legs look like asparagus. And see those shoes. I love them. I bought them at Old Navy, who's shoes have never impressed me that much, but there are three airs that I absolutly adore! I'm going back to buy the other two tonight. Here's a close up of said shoes:
I love them with a deep and burning passion! And they are sooooo comfortable. It's crazy. I've worn them all day and my feet to do not ache at all! So yay!
Anyways. I had alot of really funny and horribly hilarious things to say, but I just don't have the energy. And I'm on my 3rd cup o coffee, but since caffine has no effect (and I'm not actually joking about that) on me, I still feel groggy and hazy. On the plus side, it's an overcast day afterall, even though it was pretty sunny this morning.
December 6, 2008
December 5, 2008
Ashley Barrett wrote
at 8:41am on December 3rd, 2008
So today in the shower I was reminicing while
I tried not to kill myself (it was shaving day AND I managed to drop a bottle of
shampoo on my foot and break a blood vessle in my toe. But where is my Vampire
to rescue me? With my luck he probably died on the way to save me...). I was
thinking of days of yore when we used to be nutters with the exception of me.
Did you know that I got 10 points knocked off a paper once for writing "women
unite" on the back? I'm not even a feminist, but them thar teachers must have
been afeard of my awesomness in infulencing their children and it made me
remember being blamed for the awakening of other such children and made me
wonder why I was not blamed for more disfunction. My daughter got knocked up?
It's Ashley's fault! My son tattooed his arm? It's Ashley's evil influence! I
mean really. With as much trouble as I was in in High School, it's no wonder
people thought I was the spawn of satan. of course that makes you satan, but
Ashley Barrett wrote
at 8:48am on December 3rd, 2008
Anyways in conjuntion with my thoughtage
about life in yesteryear I compiled a christmas list for you finally. Now please
believe that I am DEAD serious about all items on this list. So here it
1. A spiffy new Denim jumper. The American version. A denim sweater
would be uncomfotable and really impractical.
2. New white platform Tennies.
I'd prefer them with those sqiggly lace things for ease and convenience. besides
if I had to bend over to tie them a boy might see my backside and get the wrong
idea about what kind of girl I am.
3. A horse. 'nuff said.
prefferably without a syncopated beat. So have fun trying to find that since it
doesn't actually exist. Actually it does. No not really. See Rap is the only
"music" without a syncopated rythm, but it has no melody line, thus violating
the 5 elements of music, which includes having a beat.Ashley Barrett wrote
at 9:04am on December 3rd, 2008
Take three:5. Scrunchies, cuz apprently hair bands are evil. While we're
at it though can I get a perm?
6. Okay and I know that this is almost evil,
but I really, really want it. Can I please get my ears peirced? For the fifth
time? Yes fifth. Remember? I have three earring holes and a cartilage piercing.
But PLEASE!!!!! It's not like I want to pierce my belly button or worse yet my
In all seriousness though All I really want for christmas is
music (with a beat. I figure Jesus already forgave all my sins so I guess it'll
be okay to continue listening to music with a beat, which btw includes gergorian
chants, because it's not music without a beat...), and Rob Pattinson, so there
ya have it. I could use a car too... But I think the number one thing that other
people will want for you to give me is an exorcism. Comming next Hallowe'en: The
Exorcism of Ashey Barrett. She had Beauty, Friends, Love, and Innocence, But all
that changed the day of the rock concert....Stephanie Barrett
wrote at 12:07am yesterday
You are one of the reasons I have no friends. If
it's not me offending them (cause dragons are really not real!), it's sure to be
you offending them! So as for your Christmas list (the real one), what music?
You need to give me specifics. And I'm not buying you a car. If you will
remember, you totalled the last one! Buy your own car. You have a job. As for
Rob Pattinson,you'll have to work that one out on your own. Audition for a part
in New Moon. You could be one of the Volturi or you could be a really pale
Quileute and be Leah. Then you can meet him.Ashley Barrett wrote
at 11:28am yesterdayYou think of me as Leah???? Wow mom, I feel the love.
You know I'm sooooo Jane. Actually I think I'd make a good Jane. she'd short and
has dark hair, plus the whole she loves seeing people in the pain she causes
them. I can see it all now.....(insert swirly effect for daydream)....Ashley: Wow this Jane chick has really got the hots for
Edward.Rob: What? How did you come to that conclusion? She's kind of
evil.A: Yes on the surface, but look deeper into her pain. Y'know
I spent a month in a Turkish torture prison to prepare for this role?R: Really? That's dedication. But how do you know she has the
hots for Edward?A: Well it's a part of her character that I don't really want
to disclose, but for you I guess I can. See what happened is that Jane saw
Edward once and liked him, but he was all, 'hey get off my back crazy torture
chick. I'm in pain and all emo, I don't need any of your sadisticness added to
me.' So then Jane decided that she was pissed off by this......to be
contAshley Barrett wrote
at 11:40am yesterdayA:(cont.) So she's all y'know what homeboy, you're gonna pay.
So when Aro asks her to test out her gift on Bella and then uses it on Edward
it's not because she's all evil, it's pay back. But see Edward can hear her
thoughts and as she keeps thinking of her desire for him, he's like whoa this
chick has it bad, I'd better get Bella out of here before she goes really nutso.
But the catch is that Edward know he's really in love with Jane, cuz y'know I'm
like so much hotter than her and all, so they have this affair, that only
happens when Edward goes off "hunting".R: Really? you got all that from the ten pages she's
in?A: That's cuz I'm cool like that.R: Wow Ashley, you really are all that and a bucket of
chicken. Would you marry me?A: Are you really asking or just projecting Edward's true
love of Jane onto my awesomness? (to be continued again stupid
wroteat 11:44am yesterdayYou do know that you are insane!Ashley Barrett wrote
at 11:52am yesterdayR:Wow you really know me. You're my other half, y'know, and
since we're both the last romantics on the planet let's go off and get married
and live in the middle of nowhere in a tiny cabin fueld by a wood stove and our
love. And we'll be passionate our whole lives, and write craptastic poetry to
eachother and make beautiful music.A: *melts on the floor then solidifys and begins the make-out
scene*Annnnnnd scene!And this is how I fell in love with Rob Pattinson. It'll be
one of the chapters in my memoires titled Of Vampires and Debbussy: Being a
Romantic in a post modern world. And now you know why you have no friends,
because they all think I'm on a constant drip of liquid crack. Cuz me and Amy
Winehouse are like this *crosses fingers to signify our close crack addict
December 3, 2008
December 1, 2008
This is California in December.
In other ReallyAshleyYouStillHaven'tLearnedYourLessonAboutHair news I cut my hair. I had about an inch of dead uckiness (yes I said Ucky) that needed to go. I'm growing it out any ways and really impatient for it to just be long again. It was about two inches below my shoulder. It now hits the top of my shoulder. So that sucks kinda. My hair has also been kinda wild lately. Like super curly, wavy, frizzy and big. I don't know why but it's kinda got a life of it's own now, which is cool and all I guess, but seriously it needs to chill, because I'm starting to look like I have permanent sex hair. I'd probably better be careful if I go anywhere near University Avenue. Let's just say there's a lot of hotels with hourly rates down there.
So how was your Thanksgiving (by the by I think I deserve mad props for making that segue)? Mine was really wonderful and relaxing. I saw Twilight again after dinner, which was cool, cuz I actually watched the movie as opposed to Rob Pattinson's gloriousness this time. And there was some cribbage playing, which was just dumb because I got beat by my stupid 11 year old brother, who played for the first time. Beginners luck. But it was really nice.